Missing Dave on his birthday so I thought Id repost this from a while back. Join me in muttering Only Dave :) Those of you who know my brother Dave will enjoy this: I got woke up at 6:40 this AM by my ringing cell phone. By the time I fumbled around and found the phone and my glasses the call had ended but I saw that it was from the nursing home. Since Dave had been feeling poorly the last couple days due to some med changes, I was fairly certain they would be telling me he ended up in the hospital, but NOOOO... “We want to inform you that your brother was in an altercation with another resident last night” My first thought was that since Dave is paralyzed from the chest down and only has one working arm that it couldnt have been much of a fight. They went on to tell me that there were no injuries, that the incident had been mostly verbal other than Dave “bumping” the other resident with his wheelchair and that things were fine. (OK, no problem, so now can I go back to sleep? The eventual answer to that question being “not a chance”) So this afternoon I decided to swing by and see Dave and got a much more detailed and hilarious version of the story. I wish I could have taped him as he told it, but no such luck. Here is what went on, at least according to Dave A female resident, one of Daves smoking buddies, had been getting hassled by a male resident and had been asked to stop. (According to Dave the guy is “Kinda pervy and just sits there staring at people”) When he persisted, they decided to report the guy and he got a talking to by the staff. Apparently unhappy about this, the guy told Dave that they should “Take it outside so [he] can knock [Daves] effin head off” and Dave, apparently having flashbacks to his barroom days, decided to take the guy up on his offer and followed him to the parking lot. Dave then described how he rolled up on the guys chair, stuck out his chin and dared the guy to take a swing, but not before telling him “This hand might not be able to make a fist, but it can still slap the stupid out of you” The other guy decided to respond by ramming his chair into Daves and it was on. Dave went on to describe an epic battle between wheelchairs. At this point I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe as I imagined spinning wheelchair tires smoking on the pavement as Dave and his opponent rammed each other in some kind of “Wheelchair Demolition Derby” Im not sure how long this went on but eventually a neighbor who had witnessed the whole melee came over and broke things up before they got more out of hand (Dave did want to make sure everyone knows that he “won” since his chair had bigger tires and he managed to push the other guy back into some bushes) The end result was lots of paperwork for the staff, a scolding for both of the brawlers and an eventual peace being declared. Dave also mentioned that he now thinks that Electric Wheelchair Jousting would make a fine Olympic event....
Posted on: Wed, 21 Jan 2015 05:19:17 +0000
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