Much love and respect for the homies in Caldwell. Just reconnected with loco. A true definition of what a loyal friend is, 15 year prison sentence completed, and back in the hood. And still a friend. I have thought about those days ever since I no longer lived them. My experiences and the situations I was part of is something I will always cherish. I remember what a true friend was. And I except that Anybody I meet now or in the future wont ever meet my expectations. Those days involved respect and rules. And the reward was the brotherhood that came with it. There was a time when I could trust. Now no matter how much I put into a friendship it seems to not be seen by those In which I think are true. It leaves me hurt more than anything but then I get angry. Is it worth it, maybe. I cant forget those whose loyaltys have been absent. And I must move on. How many times have I thought to myself If I only had a homies like back in the day. I have tried schooling these fools and all for the benefit of the addicted community. No one gets it, They think Im just tripping. I get it now and it isnt there fault. They werent showed and were never corrected. So how can they understand where I came from. For anybody who thinks they are gangsters you dont know shit. Gangster isnt being gangster is living. I have nothing to prove and anybody who knows me knows I dont talk about who and where I grew up. Just do me a favor and Google East Side locos, from Caldwell Id. I got multiple dead friends. And they didnt die in car crashes. They got murdered. I got multiple friends in prison for being loyal to the game. I got multiple friends who have changed their lives and now walk with God. Shots out to Robert salinas, aka RJ and Dominick Guzman Aka dreamer. These guys are now preachers. Giving back to the community and changing lives. they are truly admirable and respected. I myself like others continue to struggle and I cant speak for them but I can feel. And I can relate. I question many things and I answer many questions. Whether right or wrong though I continue to try and make a difference and I continue to live by the same rules. Respect, loyalty devotion and pride. That gives trust. And I cant trust no one but I can trust myself and in the end it keeps me going. It gets lonely out there and loneliness can cause more than boredom. I just want to say thanks to those who believed in me, even when they didnt want to. I have always been the same. Never perfect but always been real. If I slipped I ate it and owned it and never allowed myself to repeat it. I want all to know and to really think about what it is that makes themselves who they are. It isnt about what you have been through its about what you learned and decided to change from what you have been through. I have been to hell and back. Others got a lifetime bus pass to hell and back. And what I mean is I have been blessed and others may never receive a blessing. Im grateful and I am thankful. I hope everyone who reads this doesnt mistake my message for what it isnt. Dont get it twisted. Im no better I just do certain things better. You do certain things better than me. I can except that. But when you go to bed at night what keeps me from sleeping and what keeps you from sleeping are the same. Thoughts, Thoughts, Thoughts. My heart is true, my love is real and my hate is eventually released. Its my own fault I find myself in the positions I do. But its not my fault that people talk the talk but cant walk the walk. Therfore It is your fault when Im in your face, and Id expect you to be in mine if I was like so many of you. I know what I have learned in 35 years of pain and bliss. And its the fact that things change, people change but somethings always remain the same. And that is something I cant change. Much love to all of you in Caldwell where things havent changed much. But the home boys have and I give props for coming back to the hood and making their lives better. Thats truly something to be proud of. And all of those doing it should be proud. May God bless you all. And may the angels continue to watch over you and all your family. Thanks junior balderaz aka loco for dialing my number and reconnecting. I needed that. I have avoided many things in the past and I apologize for what may seem like what its not. Beau Bond, Chris jordan. You have reached out and I have avoided it. I apologize. It aint you its me and I am going to change somethings in my life that I have neglected. And its because of all my friends that are still friends after 15 years or better of losing contact. Thanks. And have a happy New year. Good hearing from you Travis and pat yourself on the back for the changes you made. And Im glad your brother a long time friend is out of prison and doing what he sees fit. Love all of you and I mean that. Thanks again.
Posted on: Thu, 01 Jan 2015 05:50:28 +0000
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