{My Bashful to Bold Journey} For a little while now, Contact Improv has been calling me. It used to freak me out--the combination of close physical contact, along with trusting myself and following my impulses while interacting with another person, without direction and of course, without words. Recently Ive had a strong desire to explore it more, but Ive felt shy about it. Well, I gathered my courage and followed my impulse last night--I went to the Contact Improv class before Ecstatic Dance. I was a little tentative at the beginning, but I quickly, yet gently, decided to align with my strong Yes instead of feeling held back by the small voice of resistance inside. I consciously allowed myself to drop in and follow every impulse I noticed in my body, as we explored each exercise. It didnt take long before I started to feel my whole being come alive in a way Ive been craving. Every single one of my cells lit up. The combination of physical contact and connection with other humans, along with sinking fully into my body and trusting my natural impulses was amazing and completely enlivening. Plus, there were no words to sift through. Its not the first time Ive felt this, but it was the fact that I was consciously leaning in, choosing it and allowing myself to let the experience take over me, that took it to a whole new level. As the class ended and Ecstatic Dance began, I found myself dropped into a trust, a freedom and a connection with myself that has often alluded me. As my body twisted, turned, rolled, rubbed, expanded and contracted, along with my dance partner, I stayed present and connected with myself, while simultaneously being immersed in connection with another. You see, one of my greatest learnings in life is that I get to have connection with myself AND with others. I dont have to choose between the two. I get to have both. My edge has been learning this balance, and especially, learning to not leave parts of myself behind in order to have connection with someone else. Last night, I had a keen awareness that I was having a fully embodied experience of this beautiful combination--fully staying with myself, in my body, while feeling the connection with others at the same time. What. a. gift! As I tapped into this sweet spot, I felt so open, so grounded and so full of life energy. My usual inhibitions were no where to be found. All evening, I practiced trusting and following my impulses and I had some of the sweetest, most powerful dances, connections, and experiences, almost all of which were without words. For 4 hours, my cells soaked in every drop of this nourishment like a sponge. Ive discovered that this kind of soul food feels just as critical to my well being as water or air. Today, my soul is full and my body feels well-used. Im even a bit sore, in the most satisfying of ways, as I used some muscles in ways I havent for a long time. And I cant wait for more. Im not sure if Ill ever cease to be amazed at the power of following and trusting my own impulses--the ones that are coming from the deepest core part of me--and the healing, connection, freedom and pure joy that is possible as a result. THIS is what BOLD looks and feels like for me. How about you?
Posted on: Fri, 08 Nov 2013 00:36:48 +0000