My mum had more or less turned away from religion by the time she was diagnosed with cancer, she had had a terrible experience with a vicar a few years back and it had really rocked her faith, to the point where she never wanted to step foot in a church again. We were never a really religious family, we didnt regularly go to church or say grace at the table or even have a bible in the house that I can remember. But we were all baptised; me, James and mum at the same time, me and James used to go to Sunday school when we were little, and mum was a firm believer that there was a God but that you didnt necessarily need to practice religion. When she was to remarry, Jemmas dad, she desperately wanted to do it in a church, even wrote to the Archbishop of Canterbury for permission, explaining that her first marriage was abusive and that to get divorced was the safest, the only option for herself and for me and j. Her request was denied and she had to settle for a stately home. This was the beginning of the rocking of the boat, what kind of religion wouldnt recognise that staying married to an abuser is not right?! But mum still kept migrating back to the church over the years, Amy and Grace were baptised and she had her third marriage blessed in a church, she was godmother for all three of my children. She even started attending church regularly again, this is when the traumatic experience with the vicar happened. The boat was well and truly tipped this time and mum decided she was going to stop trying, that if there was a God, He would surely be kind and generous and loving and would not need her to pray every day or attend church on a Sunday. Then she got cancer. This was the final straw for mum and she came to the conclusion that there was no god, that religion was a farce. How could any god allow so much suffering, allow two young girls to grow up without their mummy, the most wonderful mummy any child could have? How could any god wish to take away the single most generous, loving, non-judgemental, giving, selfless person on this goddamn planet?! I have to say I feel the same. IF there is a god, He is mean. I watched a programme the other day on which a hardline preacher said that disease exists in this world to remind humanity that there is something bigger, and stronger, and altogether more powerful than them. That if a person is struck down with an illness and they are right with God then they will have the strength to overcome the illness. That if they succumb to the illness then they are weak and must have angered the almighty god.......I very nearly smashed the tv against the wall. My mum was the dictionary definition of the opposite of weak and if I believed in god or heaven then I would surely say that she was an angel sent down to earth. All the suffering she had to bear through her short lifetime and she was still so loving and kind of heart, right to the end; not your average person. I am sorry if this is controversial, always will be when you talk about religion, but I swore to tell the truth, my truth.
Posted on: Thu, 18 Sep 2014 13:11:13 +0000
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