NO EXCUSE SUNDAY To make it possible for everyone to attend church next Sunday, we are going to have a special No Excuse Sunday. Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, Sunday is my only day to sleep. Blankets will be furnished for those who think the church is too cold and portable fans for those who think the church is too hot. Eye drops will be available for those whose eyes are tired after watching t.v. all night Saturday and we’ll have coffee for those who stayed out all night partying. We will have hearing aids for those who think the preacher speaks too softly and cotton for those who think he preaches too loudly. Some relatives will be in attendance for those who like to go visiting on Sunday. There will be T.V. dinners for those who cant go to church and cook dinner too. We will have steel helmets for those who say, the roof will cave in if I ever come to church and fire retardant suits for those who say, “I would spontaneously combust if I ever set foot in a church.” Doctors and nurses will be in attendance for those who plan to be sick on Sunday. Scorecards and pencils will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present. One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who seek God in nature and well put a putting green on church grounds for those who like to golf on Sunday, Finally, the sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who have never seen the church without them. See you Sunday, No Excuses!
Posted on: Wed, 26 Mar 2014 15:44:20 +0000
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