Ok. This is long but worth the read. Love you, Ma. Obituary for Dorothy Davis WHAT A WONDERFUL LIFE Sometime on the 19th of December 1921 a beautiful baby girl was born, Dorothy Fogel. Her mother, Rebecca (Feldman) Fogel had emigrated from Russia to escape the pogroms. Rebecca was one of 12 children. Dorothy’s handsome father, Isadore Fogel, had emigrated from Austria with his parents, and two sisters in the early 1900s as had Rebecca. Isadore was a tailor, and a fantastic, loving, beautiful man. So these two loving parents took their baby home to meet her older sister Ida, who was two. Dorothy grew up in a Jewish home, and her parents, although not orthodox, by any stretch of the imagination, nevertheless kept a kosher home. She learned that you cannot mix meat and milk dishes at the same table, the dietary laws. She learned that the Sabbath (Shabbat) started at sundown on Friday and lasted through Saturday at sundown. She learned that being Jewish was not always a good thing and that there were bad people out there who hated her before they knew anything about her because she was a Jew. For the first two years of Dorothy’s life, her family consisted of just Ida and herself, and then Rebecca had her third child, Phillip. This was a bittersweet time in the family’s life because Rebecca, or Bubbie (Hebrew for grandmother), had been diagnosed with breast cancer during her pregnancy. She was 30 years old. Dorothy was able to have her mother for only two years more and when Bubbie was 32 she died at home, with her grieving husband, her 11 brothers and sisters, and her three children. Isadore did not know how he was ever going to raise three children alone, and all so young. He believed the best thing he could do for his children, at least Phillip and Dorothy (ages 2 and 4) was to place them in an orphanage until he could remarry. Ida, age six, remained with Isadore because she was in school during the day so he could work and then take care of her. Dorothy stayed in the orphanage for over a year and then one of her mother’s brothers took her in, but that did not last long because Dorothy was somewhat of a hellion, and that created issues in the family so she was sent to another aunt’s house. She lived there for over a year and she was so happy. Then when she was about 6 or 7 her father remarried, to Malke (Molly), and he was able to bring Phillip home from the orphanage and Dorothy home too. They were once again a family or so Isadore thought. Unfortunately, he married a woman who did not like children, although she loved Dorothy. (So what’s not to like?) Dorothy graduated from PS 31 in Brooklyn at the very young age of 16. She worked in the garment district of New York for a long period of time, and had a boyfriend in Jersey. This was her first love and he later broke her heart. Maybe that is why at the ripe old age of 22 she joined the WACS (Women’s Army Corp Service) in August, 1943. She loved the Army and went through basic training with Kaye, a woman who she maintained a lifelong friendship until Kaye’s death from Alzheimer’s disease in the beginning of the 21st century. Then the story is, which has been told 100 times and probably changed 100 times, that, Kaye and Dorothy were walking on Broadway in the only city of the world that has a street like that—New York City. Dorothy was just a little thing—5 feet tall, and Kaye was 5 feet 8 inches tall. There were two Army guys walking behind them and the one said, I’ll take the short one and you take the tall one. The Army private that took the short one, would later become her husband, Bowden Davis. Bowden was a handsome man, who swept Dorothy off her feet. But there was a little problem, he wasn’t Jewish. She married him six weeks after she met him as he was being deployed to the South Pacific. Then the problem came—how to tell Pops about the marriage and that Bowden wasn’t Jewish. Isadore was grief stricken that his daughter, his favorite, would marry a non-Jew. How could she? Why did she want to hurt him so much? He immediately disowned her, she was dead to him. (Watch fiddler on the roof and you will understand more.) Isadore went to the Rabbi seeking answers on what to do, how to handle his grief. The Rabbi consoled him as best he could, and said that Dorothy’s children would still be Jewish—that gave Isadore the strength to forgive Dorothy and they continued to have a beautiful, warm, loving relationship until his death in 1963. Dorothy stayed in the Army until her discharge in 1945. Bowden came home from the service and in a very short period of time, Dorothy and Bowden were the proud parents of two beautiful twins—Karen and Keith, born November 1, 1946. They were two little babies, each just a little over 5 pounds. Dorothy didn’t know she was having twins until she was in labor—unbelievable! Dorothy was the best mom in the world. Her babies were her life. Her marriage to Bowden though was not all she had hoped for. The marriage was wrought with too little money, and a husband that drank way too much. But then Bowden had his own demons to deal with. However, not all was lost- his mom, Bertha, was a wonderful person and loved Dorothy like she was her own daughter. She accepted her without any misgivings or negative thoughts about Dorothy being Jewish. Bowden’s sister, Modena, was also very loving to Dorothy. But the love that Bertha and Modena had for Dorothy was not enough to hold the marriage together and in 1964 Dorothy and Bowden were divorced. Dorothy still loved Bowden but love was just not enough. Dorothy and Bowden became best friends and went everywhere together after their divorce. It was like they were dating again. Bowden would come over for dinner and Dorothy would fix him his favorite—fried chicken livers. In fact, on August 5, 1977, he came over to check on Dorothy because she had come home sick from work and she fixed them dinner—yep—fried chicken livers. He laid down on the sofa, Dorothy in the chair and she dozed off a bit. She woke up and knew something was wrong, he looked lifeless, and his hand was hanging over the edge of the sofa. Bowden had a massive coronary and died. But he was with the only woman he ever loved so he died peacefully. At his funeral, Dorothy sent flowers with a ribbon—to my best friend. Of course, you might be thinking what about the beautiful twins? Well I am getting to that part now—of course the best part. Karen and Keith were inseparable the cutest darn kids in the world. Karen was a bossy little thing and always held that over Keith’s head because she was born at 12:10 a.m. and he was born at 12:17 a.m. Karen and Keith would fight like cats and dogs, had different opinions about unions, but they loved each other and stood by each other always. Dorothy started working at Ford Motor Company sometime in the early 1950’s, so that meant the twins were taken care of by baby sitters. They were good people and Dorothy knew that her precious children would be taken care of—and they were. Sometime in the late 1950’s baby sitters were no longer needed because the twins were in school during the day and were only alone after school. And of course, Bowden was home some of the time. There are many funny stories about the twins, but since this is not a book (OR IS IT?), I will fast forward a bit. Karen and Keith both graduated from college. Keith graduated from Eastern Michigan University with a teaching degree. Karen graduated from Western Michigan University with a B.S. degree, with a major in biology, and then she obtained a B.S. in nursing from Columbia University, and then a JD from the University of Detroit. (Do you think she had enough schooling?) They were good kids and loved their mom more than anyone could imagine. While the kids were the light of Dorothy’s life, she was also the light of their lives. The family was a very close knit family. Dorothy’s life was not smooth sailing but as long as her children were around she was as happy as a pig in mud. Keith taught at Lowrey Elementary school in Dearborn after his graduation from EMU. As far as Keith’s love life, he starting dating Carol Oleksiak, in 1963, a year before high school graduation. In December 1973, he finally decided it was time to get married and they had a very private wedding--just he and his blushing bride and two witnesses. It was short and to the point. They married at St. Michaels during a snow storm close to Dorothy’s birthday, during a short break from his 2nd job, snow plowing. Karen, now a full-fledged nurse, got married in June 1974. She married Carol’s sister’s husband’s brother. Sounds complicated? It was. Karen worked at Henry Ford Hospital as a nurse and not long after they were married, Dorothy’s first grandchild, David (named after one of their ancestors—King David) was born, July 16, 1974. David was the light of her life—the first grandchild, you know-- but not for too long because then in November 1977, Nicole was born. Karen’s third child, Lindsay was born in October 1982. Of Course, Keith was not to be outdone. Carol had a boy the first time around, Jeffrey in January 1979. Then she had another boy, Gregory, August 1980, then she had another boy, Kevin, July 1981. And all of these little guys would travel everywhere with their father and Dorothy just loved them to pieces. Carol was in a household filled with testosterone and really wanted a girl, so she thought what the heck one more time. Maybe, just maybe she would get lucky—she did, Abigail, in October 1984. Dorothy was so darn happy, all these grandchildren to love and to visit. She would go to Karen’s in her Bronco and visit with them and then on to Keith’s and visit with them. Then she would start the whole process again and again. As much as she loved Karen and Keith, she loved her seven grandchildren much, much more. Dot, Dottie, Ma, or Dubs (she liked to be called all of them, even suggested to call her Dottie Dumbbell from time to time), was always, always, and always there to help her kids or her grandkids, or to love them to pieces. She SURE DID LOVE THEM TO PIECES and THEY LOVED HER JUST THE SAME. Dorothy loved her animals probably just as much as loved her children and grand-children. There was Cocoa and Shayna, Amy, Brandy, Cosmo (the one-tooth wonder), Lady (for a hot second), Penelope “Penny”, and all the cats. Dorothy was the epitome of the crazy cat lady. She had Patches, Archie, Tabitha, Noodle #1, Noodle #2, Tiffany, Charlie, and a million in between. She loved her animals so much and we loved her so much for it. Ask anyone and they could tell you a story or two. Life does not always turn out like one would want, and in November 1990, bad news had shown its ugly head—Keith was diagnosed with inoperable cancer. Her world came crashing down and she literally did not know what to do. But as a strong Jewish woman, she found a way to make it through every day. She helped Carol as much as she could during Keith’s 2 and ½ year illness. In the last six months of his life she was at Carol’s house nearly every day to stay with her only son, to help him in any way possible. Keith died July 28, 1993. Dorothy’s world was absolutely shattered. She told her grandson, Greg, that no parent should have to deal with the loss of a child. Dorothy kept her pain deep inside and she had sought comfort with Keith’s children, and with Carol. She was not big on expressing herself regarding her grief, she was a private person. She was unbelievable proud of all her grandchildren and would frequently yell at them for swearing – oh wait, nevermind that is another book to write. She also taught them how to swear proficiently in Yiddish, as she couldn’t stand swear words – yep, try to figure that one out. They all graduated from college and were incredibly attentive and loving to their grandmother. Dorothy was an unbelievably loyal person and family was the end all and be all. In 2001 her brother, Phillip died, and she went to New York to gather up her sister, Ida, who had been living with Phillip to come and live with her. Ida lived with her for a little over a year but believe me when I tell you that this match was not one made in heaven. Dorothy disliked her sister, and complained all the time about what Ida did or didn’t do but she still took care of her and after a year of living with Ida, she decided it would be better for her mental health to move Ida to an apartment. That never stopped Dorothy, as she would go over and visit with Ida 3-4 times a week – (and believe me when I tell you, the two would bicker non-stop), do her grocery shopping and laundry. Ida died in October 2008. Dorothy’s mental health started to decline sometime in 2007, as she was diagnosed with dementia and then Alzheimer’s disease. She broke her hip in August 2011 and her dementia increased. She lived out the majority of the next 3 years at assisted living places where she was as happy as one could be with this dreaded diagnosis. Unfortunately, Dorothy was confined to a wheelchair, and was so very unhappy, so sad. She would say all the time, I wish ‘things’ were like they used to be—with family gatherings, with her children, with her grandchildren. Karen would visit her every day to help her with whatever needed to be done. Dorothy was always so grateful and told Karen all the time how much it meant to her but the fact remains that she was so sad. Her short term memory was shot, she was unable to drive, and those family gatherings weren’t happening with any regularity. She was also sad – as for her entire life, she was able to do everything on her own and no longer could do so. She could no longer drive, no longer go to her craft shows, no more painting her ceramics, or even help her friends out anymore. Dorothy died on March 8, 2014. Who are her survivors - well none of them are surviving very well right now with the loss of their grandma or “Ma”, but as far as family goes, the ones remaining: Karen Davis Roberts and her 7 grandchildren and 3 great-grand-children - David Bonkosky, Nicole Martin, Lindsay O’Mara, Jeffrey Davis, Gregory Davis, Kevin Davis, and last but surely not least Abigail Kerr. Dorothy had three great grandchildren, Keegan and Cassidy Davis, Alexander Kerr, and another on the way (David and Shana’s baby). Dorothy/Ma/Dot will surely be deeply missed by all of her grandchildren’s spouses as well and their children– Shana Bonkosky, Sean O’Mara, Kevin Martin, Colleen Davis, Dan Kerr, Jake martin and Andrew Martin. Carol Wagner (Keith’s wife remarried), Pat Wagner, and Randall, Karen’s husband, loved her very much and her sparkle and they too, will miss this incredible woman. Dorothy will be missed by so many, as she touched the lives of all kinds of people and I cannot even begin to list her friends, and others, that will really mourn her passing. God speed! To send flowers or a memorial gift to the family of Dorothy Davis please visit our Sympathy Store. Upcoming Events
Posted on: Wed, 12 Mar 2014 00:27:23 +0000