Okay, thatll be 20p, said the cashier as he scanned my Freddo. What!? I shouted. But it says 10p on the wrapper? Yes, I know it says that on it, but it is actually 20. Fine, I said, as I begrudgingly handed him the cash. Ummm, excuse me sir, the man slid the coin back across the counter. Youve handed me a ten pence piece. Yes, I know it says 10p on it but it is actually 20. There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me. And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died she would put all of the money into the casket with him. Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, Wait just a moment! She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked it and took the casket down and they rolled it away. So her friend said, Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband. The loyal wife replied, Listen, Im a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him. You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him? I sure did, said the wife. I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a cheque... If he can cash it, then he can spend it. Im one of those people who has the amazing talent of being able to shake my wallet and know exactly how much money is in it. Because its empty. An Apache goes into a bank and asks for a loan of 200 dollars. The bank manager asks for collateral: I have 150 horses, says the Apache, so the bank manager lends him the money. A month later, the Apache comes into the bank with 2220 dollars in his hand and pays off his debt with interest. Wouldnt you prefer to deposit the rest of your money with us? asks the bank manager. The Apache looks at him suspiciously, then looks around the bank: How many horses you got? Times were tough last year, and on Christmas morning, my son woke up and opened his only present. But, but, I wanted a Transformer, he said with tears in his eyes. This...This is a brick. Transformers, I said, theyre robots in disguise arent they? He nodded. Well, its in disguise.
Posted on: Thu, 28 Nov 2013 15:59:17 +0000
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