On a plane from Chicago to NYC. Third flight of the day. First one was a tiny thing from Tambor to San Jose, Costa Rica. It held myself, eleven other tourists, and two pilots. Then got on a much bigger jet to Chicago. I had a nearly three hour wait in between flights....but was able to run and manipulate life to get on this earlier flight home. I used miles to bump up to first class for the flights home. I got off the flight from San Jose and ran. And ran and ran and ran. We were parked at the very last gate in the international terminal...and it was comical how far it was until I got to the customs area. Luckily I am part of the Global Entry program. You just put your passport in the slot...look into Big Brothers eyes on the machine and let them scan your fingerprints. And beautifully, it was only a matter of a few minutes to get through the heavily peopled customs area. The customs guy asked what I was doing in Costa Rica...and he stifled a laugh when I told him I went to a yoga retreat. Next... I had to get a train to the farthest terminal from where I was...naturally...but made the mistake of going out the airport entrance...which meant I had to go back through security. DAMN!!! I took the monorai from terminal five to onel...and then ran with my luggage to the United desk to see if they could get me on the flight to LaGuardia instead of Newark....and they said yes...but you better high tail it. (not you, the reader....me, the typer). Again, being a very frequent flier, as most comedians are....I am a TSA pre-check in person and went right through without waiting in the long lines...or removing my liquids, laptop and outerwear. So now...me....Mr Overweight. (but working my way back down to Mr. Healthy) and Mr. Yoga Retreat....was running through the terminal like a pre-murdering OJ Simpson...but sweating like a post-murdeing OJ Simpson. I got on the plane...and I was soaked through my clothes. And just as I was about to take my seat...an announcement for a Mr Brill to come to the front of the aircraft. Lo and behold...the once fully booked first class section had one open seat. I put my luggage away...turned on the air above my seat on full blast...and then sat down comfy cozy and smiley. What an amazing adventure in Montezuma...and happy to be coming back to Manhattan.
Posted on: Mon, 07 Jul 2014 03:01:53 +0000
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