One more try on here…Roommate went skydiving, so looking for a new roommate. HUGE house (Saginaw/ N Fort Worth) 1 roommate went skydiving, so hedging my bets that he may not be coming back. House is a 4 bedroom, 2 story, 3100+ square feet. Upstairs there are 3 bedrooms, one of which is already occupied. One bedroom is still available. 3rd BR will be a spare bedroom for guests, etc. No former Mother-In-Laws allowed in this room though. Kinda obvious, right? Lets get down to the nitty gritty, shall we? -If you have kids on some weekends or so, that is fine. I have my little hellions every other weekend. They are good for entertainment and like to run errands for you. My 10 year old is a future Mark Zuckerberg, so if you need help setting up your computer, setting up a VPN or hacking into the NSA, he is your man. Keep in mind, I do try to be a decent father so no Inappropriate stuff, know what I mean, Vern? My 7 year old is a hell of a salesman, so god help you when there are fund raisers for school. You will buy everything in the damned catalog and not realize he took you for every penny you have until a few years later. I still havent realized it. Also, he is great to take to the parks, etc to pick up ladies...Good thing he got his mothers looks and not mine... -I said kids were ok, but this does not mean I want a toddler...or 4... in the house running around and making my life hell. I have been through that twice and do you really think I want to have to disable the kids safety crap on the toilet so he cant fall in after I have had 5 cups of coffee? You picking up what I am laying down here? -About me: 43 years old, no drama with my awesome, great mother of my children, ex wife (She may be part of this group, so might as well score some brownie points). I once had the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. Army Veteran, hard working, yada yada yada. I am Batman. Fun loving dude. Simply put, respect me I respect you. Now, you want to cook and do my laundry, I will probably respect you a lot more. No guarantee, but a pretty damn good bet! Buying me good beer guarantees my love for life. OPB is the best beer there is! -What I am looking for: Kate Beckinsale. You think I am BSing? I am not, but realizing this is not likely: Someone that is respectful of others, somewhat neat and pays their bills on time (THIS MEANS PAYS ME RENT ON TIME, I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE!) -Pets: I love pets. I really do. I have had great pets. But this does not mean I want YOUR pet here peeing wherever he/she likes, whenever he/she wan...I digress. No pets please. -Rent: $600/month. Includes your own room, shared bathroom upstairs with one other person, no mother in laws as previously stated. How awesome is that? Also includes all utilities. Did I say I got the fastest damn internet AT&T has? I didnt? Well I did now! Thats right! 45 MBit UVerse internet that will knock your nerd socks and pencil protector right off! Slip my 10 year old (or me) a $10 bill and he will have you looking at everything the NSA has on you! -I know these pics make it look all nice and homey, but do you really think I could/would decorate a house like the pics? What guy do you know that has the color coordination like the pics? I spent 10 years in the Infantry, so I am a knuckle dragging troglodyte. I mean seriously, what guy would have a pic of a bed with a frigging teddy bear on it? Anyways, my ex took those pics and they look nice, so I put them on here. That all being said, she got pretty much everything, so a little bit in the furnishings right now. The more you have, the nicer I will be to you, I promise. That all being said, big sectional couch, futon and recliner downstairs along with TV, dining room table and chairs, so we do have the basics! -Smoking: If you smoke cigarettes, outside is fine. If you smoke weed, not the house for you. If you smoke meth, get into rehab. If you smoke crack, you nee...wait a minute...does anyone even smoke crack anymore? I guess I am showing my age here. If you smoke because you are about to spontaneously combust, please get the hell out of the house. Make sure to leave your good furniture, TVs, etc behind for me to keep in this case. I will even make sure to sweep up your ashes and put them in a nice urn (empty Vodka bottle) and give you a place of honor on the mantle. If you do NOT leave me your cool stuff, I will dump your ashes in the trash. Fair enough? -Game-room: The game-room upstairs is GINORMOUS (Is that even a word? My kids say it is, but I am having my doubts.) Sounds good though to find someone on craigslist to pay me an exorbitant...I mean, reasonable, amount of rent. You could seriously fit a pool table, Foosball table, and several other various, fun, awesome, killer, bad-ass tables in this room. If you have a Ping-Pong table I will take $1 off the rent for your awesomeness. I am like Forrest Gump when it comes to Ping-Pong. Again, the more you bring, the nicer I will be to you. If you are interested, please TEXT me @ 817-527-1553 I guarantee you will live in a fun house and my kids will fetch you stuff when they are here. Pretty sweet, eh?
Posted on: Fri, 26 Dec 2014 00:48:20 +0000
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