One of my most favoritest people on the planet, Randy Jo Stewart, posted this awesomeness...and it is so perfect, as I stare at my three supply lists, with the evil Ticonderoga glaring at me...well played, RJ. Well played. School Supplies?? No, more like School Sup lies?? Lies..lies I say! Who amongst us have not looked down at that school list of demands and seen Ticonderoga pencils Ticonderoga.. Wow, sounds exotic like Ranch dressing, a Pirate Island or a Venereal Disease. Way back in the day before I knew better and actually hunted down these hard to find implements(think Arnold Schwarzenegger looking for Sarah Connor) I once stayed up super late the night before school started because I forgot said EXPENSIVE hand held booger pickers MUST be sharpened. Half way through sharpening our pencil sharpener broke. There I sat tired, pissed, speaking in tongues cursing the School Supply Gods as I with my buck knife Rogers (Yes, my Buck knife is named Rogers; Buck Rogers.. Why? What do you call yours?) Anyways.. Each was sharpened to a dangerous point that I just know ancestors would be proud of..not to hunt with but perhaps do some amazing cave wall vandalisms with inappropriate stick figures. So imagine my utter fury when upon entering the classroom the next morning I overheard seasoned parents laughing at the poor suckers who bought Ticonderoga pencils when they bought Dollar Store ones because they all get thrown in a share bin. The nerve of the b-holes...,for not telling me sooner. No way in Hell would I let it play out like this. At first I tried to add a few pencils to the bin when the teacher was watching(like when you add $$ to a baristas tip jar dramatically to be sure they see)Ticonderoga brand name up and nice and slow.. She didnt even blink. In fact I watched her help another Mom willy nilly reach into a Dollar Store bag, grab loose pencils and contribute to the community bin. These pencils would NOT be going in there. My daughter may have been the only child that year that had a Ticonderoga sharpened pencil fort built around her desk like a trading post awaiting attack but as God as my witness I learned a lesson and would never follow the School Sup lies? list again. Also got me out of volunteering in the classroom that year...
Posted on: Sat, 09 Aug 2014 01:33:12 +0000
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