PLEASE READ IF YOU CARE ABOUT ME AT ALL ! AND PLEASE OFFER TO HELP MY LEGAL, AND EFFECTIVE EFFORTS THAT ME AND MY ASSOCIATES WILL BE EXERTING TO FIGHT THIS BATTLE! AND IF NOT IN AGREEMENT THAT WE HAVE TO STOP COMPLAINING AND ACTUALLY TAKE ACTION AS OPPOSED TO SPEECHES RAMBLED THAT ARE INEFFECTIVE JUST DONT COMMENT BECAUSE I AM DANGEROUS TO ANYONE THAT THINKS THESE ARENT HUMAN BEINGS LIVES BEING LOST AND IF YOU THINK WE SHOULDNT HELP THAN EITHER YOU ARENT HUMAN OR YOU DONT SEE THEM AS SUCH ! (and i do dare someone to call that bluff because i have the same thing for you as i do for this battle and that is strictly no more easily said words but merely action ) And while reading remember i am not just another dumbass saying another meaningless cliche about a meaningless battle ! REMEMBER who i AM and that i am PROUD but not to proud to say i am typing this through a literal ocean of tears as i weep like a child trying to put the last 10 years of my existence together and realize who wont be here for the next WONDERFULLY AMAZING 10 YEARS ! miss you guys ! ! im in pain right now, serious pain and if you would like to know about anything i am always on the other end of a phone call! Although, so proud of my accomplishments as of lately i am also plagued with knowing that this addiction is an ocean of chaos and although i have swam the distance and persevered from one coastline to the other coastline I am now standing at the edge of the water where i will stay and not jump back in to tread water and eventually sink ! but i stand at this waters edge PROUD yet still feeling this drug is ruining my life everyday long after i have walked away and I am slowly sitting by letting myself become a broken heart inside of a shattered case SCREAMING to people i have loved for years to please quit floating in place and start swimming towards the shore. IM SCREAMING, please dont drown! Well. Its to late now for the ones i love and i have lost!! To many human beings that i have considered sisters and i have considered brothers have drown with the sound of my weak voice yelling out to them offering my weak assistance but from all my SCREAMING i had almost thought Id lost my voice but TODAY and forever more, i have realized i didnt lose my voice i have made it STRONGER , LOUDER and TRAINED EFFICIENTLY for the ones still treading water to hear my SCREAMS! I am ANGRY and left with what i feel is NO CHOICE ! CAUTION WILL NOW BE THROWN TO THE WIND ! and that same wind that catches my thrown cautions will also EMPOWER my ships sales to let me venture into choppy waters where the current has a strong undertow hold on these HUMAN BEINGS who want to dry off , who want to stop being EXHAUSTED FROM TREADING WATER! Who NEED a break but they just have no idea what to float upon! I give my word i will not turn my ship away from the ones drowning , the tired , the seemingly defeated, but i will run over the tides and help you rest long enough to swim again ! i shall not let you aboard my ship for it is mine and i have built it with my bare hands and unfortunately i didnt realize the team i had so i did it alone and was only strong enough to build it to carry one man, but i will bring you life preservers , i will bring you rest , i will bring you the tools for you to be capable of exerting the energy to make it to this side of the ocean! And i stress the fact that this one is not to be taken advantage of but i will even be bringing to our community (NARCAN) which is only to be used in last case scenarios of an actual bad decision tragedy to literally reverse the effects of an overdose and brings an individual back to life. and note no addict will ever have a second vile of this medicine wasted on them from my backers supply ! it is for the strong who become momentarily weak not the ones who have given up on themselves and the ones who love them ! I am literally sick of this . i am physically ill today and can barely see straight. so through my coughs cries and confusion I AM taking charge ! I AM standing up and i promise if you think you disagree or you think you know that my plans wont work you had better come to me with a better plan or an idea or at least compassion for these individuals and not negativity because I AM seriously DANGEROUS to anything that brings pointless negativity into this struggle ! I promise today and forever more i am extremely MORE DANGEROUS than anyone who is capable of reading a computer screen without actually blowing up the screen with a gaze, or melting it with a hateful stare! for the most dangerous thing in the world is a man whos been beaten up and hurt and tattered and torn and neglected . i have lost huge parts of my childhood i can never get back and on top of these trials while staying off dope i have even been deprived the hugs and kisses from my angel and my reason for quitting and becoming a struggled success story . (my daughter)!! , and all in a three week time span. i shall STILL prevail and STILL overcome it , and i promise i am STRONGER than anything OR anyone that wants to bring anymore negativity into an alread negativity saturated situation ! these are (HUMAN BEINGS) and if you have ever been put in a situation you didnt deserve by your doctors,politicians,superiors, or anyone else that knew what they were doing to take advantage of others than you are not a true awareness guide! you will never be considered a force for good if you dont have compassion and at least try to understand how this tragedy happens and not just assume you understand something that you could not. If you have never been starved for 5 days and sat infront of a steak and told no bites and you dont know the pain that true hunger puts in the pit of your stomach than you just simply DO NOT know , and if you smoke cigarettes then remember you are in the exact same struggle as these HUMAN BEINGS and they can teach you alot because unfortunately their struggle is identical to yours its just set to fast forward so no high horses please ! ! ViGiLaNtE StAtUs and taking no more sit downs until I am on top of this world and into the next world where i know I will eventually see my family and friends im doing this for who lost the fight ! Were gonna need your help but not your permission, so we need you to find a comfortable space, that is not only comfortable, but vulnerable. I want you to shut your eyes and go there, and well meet you on the other side..:/ ! rest easy my friends ! iv never been so serious or as hurt as i am right now so I am sorry about the threats but am sorrier if they are tested ! but i do love all of you and will be needing you !
Posted on: Mon, 31 Mar 2014 22:01:24 +0000