People say that I should live for myself since mom has passed. And I look back now, and so shitty I must seem (this is not sarcasm, this is sincere self criticism) in every time my mothers condition took a turn for the worse, I kind of fell out of contact with some people, who did tremendous things for me, whether it be autographs from Japan to rare tibits of merchandise. Its too late now. Those relationships, I believe, are not salvageable.And yet I think, though my activity within my hobby would be less interrupted now, I have still lost someone special. I have still lost that activity which humbled me so and was a priority. That which taught me that I do not really matter, rather those around me. I cannot live for myself, for I am completely turned off, revolted, by the idea. I might do my little thing here, but to truly live for yourself is alien to me.
Posted on: Thu, 10 Jul 2014 08:28:53 +0000
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