Pls i need peoples opinions on this issue before it gives me depression. I am 33yrs old woman, happily married with 2 kids. My mother left me and my two brothers when we were ages 7.5, 4 and 2 respectively for another man. I am the eldest and the only girl. She actually got pregnant for the other man right from my dads house because she delivered the child about 5 months after leaving my fathers house. She has 3 children altogether for the other man. My dad too remarried after 2yrs that my mum had left. Me and my brothers grew up under intense hatred and curse from our dad. His wife wanted us out of the house but my dad pleaded with her that the only thing he owed us was education because of the fear of us becoming liabilities to him in the future, he also did a legal marriage with his wife and promised not to include us in his will. I can vividly recall my 6yrs in secondary school; me and my brothers ate Eba morning and night all through those years, we used to share #10 in the afternoon to buy beans from food seller. The whole experience is not a good memory, it is still affecting the 3 of us. Daddy managed to send us to universities irrespective of his wifes displeasure about it. My mum on the other hand used to send us bread and when i entered the university, each time i go to her for money, she will give me 5% of what dad used to give. I stopped going there the day she told me i dont have a right to come and be asking her for money, reminding me that after-all she didnt steal any of my dads belonging, so why should i be coming to her for money. She even said someone told her that me and my brothers wont take care of her when she grows old, so why wasting her money on us. To my greatest surprise, my dad called me after 18yrs that my mum left and told me that my mum mistakenly got pregnant for him and just put to bed. I could not believe my ears because i know how much curse he has cursed himself if he ever has anything to do with my mum. I remember he used to say my mum wont even come for any of our(me and my brothers) marriages. Another irritating part is that my mum got pregnant for him while she was still in the other mans house, infact she put to bed the day after she left the mans house. The story looks more like a nollywood script, right? My problem now is my mum wants me to be responsible for the last child she has for my dad and even the 3 she has for the other man. I had my 2 kids through CS, my mum spent 3 day the 1st time and left, mandating me to allow her to come with her 4yr old child or wont back. I had my 1st child at 28yrs, its shameful that my mum could not come to help me because she was nursing a 4yr old too. I lost some respect from my husband as a result of that. He had asked me what kind of mother is your mother a few times. I cant put everything in writing. Each time i remember my mum, i usually have high BP. My problem now is she wants to dictate how i will spend my money on her children. If she sees a fine cloth on me, she will ask of her own. She never realized what damage she caused me and my brothers. pls know that i send her money, clothes and food but she is not content. She feels i have more and should do more. My dad apologized to me for the cruel upbringing sometime ago. He does not disturb me for money but appreciates whatever i give him no matter how little. Should i just cut my mum off just like my brothers have done?? Im going crazy here. Submitted Chinyere Atuegbu
Posted on: Sun, 27 Jul 2014 18:31:17 +0000
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