Politics & media in Pakistan another new dictionary=4 Hamid Gul: Senility mistaken as nobility. Hudood Ordinance: A law enacted by ameer-ul-momineen Hazrat Ziaul Haq to stop women from breathing too loudly because that could distract pious Muslim males from doing good works like flogging, stoning, killing ‘kafirs,’ and discussing the divine merits of keeping a beard. Any woman caught under the Hudood law or even seen slightly moving her nostrils while breathing is to be arrested, flogged, stoned and told about the divine merits of keeping a beard. Imran Khan: A middle-aged man who played cricket as if he was a politician and is doing politics as if he is was a cricketer. Also, he just can’t get himself to denounce Islamic extremists. He insists Hugh Grant is a bigger threat. Jamat-i-islami: A political party formed twelve hundred years ago in Baghdad during the Abbasid period. It was rudely transported to the 20th century by an evil Jew jinn through a time traveling devise. Since then the Jamat has been stuck here, wanting to go back twelve hundred years to its own time. But the only problem is, it wants to take the whole country back with it as well. Jemima Khan: A very rich white woman who had a serious dislike of late Benazir Bhutto because Bhutto was almost as rich but not white enough. Javedie Chaurdhr: (See John The Baptist). Kashmala Tariq: A very pretty lady. And petite too. Kamlan Khan: A good example of how much good lots of mouth foam and spit can do to one’s career as a talk-show host. Always wanted to call his TV show ‘The Wrath of Khan’ instead of ‘Aaj Kamlan Khan Kay Saath’. But the owner of Peo TV, Captain James T. Kirk, refused; even though Kamlan insisted he had Klingon ancestry. Kashmir: A very confused map that looks one way to the Indians and another way to the Pakistanis. Kalashnikov Culture: An indigenous and prominent side of the Pakistani culture in which men use the AK-47 for everything ranging from fighting gang wars to firing in the air to celebrate election victories, weddings, new years eve and baby showers. Some Pakistani men have also been known to pick their teeth with an AK-47 after a hearty meal. Klashif Abbasi: A very rowdy mother-in-law. Lashkar-e-Tayba: Men who pick their teeth with AK-47’s. They burp a lot as well. Very loudly.
Posted on: Tue, 28 Jan 2014 18:15:23 +0000
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