REPAIRING THE SOUL When a person finally breaks from a cultic relationship, it is the soul, then, that is most in need of repair. When you discover one day that your guru is a fraud, that the miracles are no more than magic tricks, that the groups victories and accomplishments are fabrications of an internal public relations system, that your holy teacher is breaking his avowed celibacy with every young disciple, that the groups connections to people of import are nonexistent -- when awareness such as these come upon you, you are faced with what many have called a spiritual rape. Whether your cultic experience was religious or secular, the realization of such enormous loss and betrayal tends to cause considerable pain. As a result, afterwards, many people are prone to reject all forms of belief. In some cases, it may take years to overcome the disillusionment, and learn not only to trust in your inner self but also to believe in something again. There is also a related difficulty: that persistent nagging feeling that you have made a mistake in leaving the groups --perhaps the teachings are true and the leader is right; perhaps it is you who failed. Because cults are so clever at manipulating certain emotions and events--in particular, wonder, awe, transcendence, and mystery (this is sometimes called mystical manipulation) -- and because of the human desire to believe, a former cult member may grasp at some way to go on believing even after leaving the group. For this reason, many people today go from one cult to another, or go in and out of the same cultic group or relationship (known as cult hopping). Since every person needs something to believe in --a philosophy of life, a way of being, an organized religion, a political commitment, or a combination thereof --sorting out these matters of belief tends to be a major area of adjustment after a cultic experience. What to Believe in Now? Since a cult involvement is often an ill-fated attempt to live out some form of personal belief, the process of figuring out what to believe in once youve left the cult may be facilitated by dissecting the cults ideological system. Do an evaluation of the groups philosophy, attitudes, and worldview; define it for yourself in your own language, not the language of the cult. Then see how this holds up against the cults actual daily practice or what you now know about the group. For some, it might be useful to go back and research the spiritual or philosophical system that you were raised in or believed in prior to the cult involvement. Through this process you will be better able to assess what is real and what is not, what is useful and what is not, what is distortion and what is not. By having a basis for comparison, you will be able to question and explore areas of knowledge or belief that were no doubt systematically closed to you while in the cult. Most people who come out of a cultic experience shy away from organized religion or any kind of organized group for some time. I generally encourage people to take their time before choosing another religious affiliation or group involvement. As with any intimate relationship, trust is reciprocal and must be earned. After a cult experience, when you wake up to face the deepest emptiness, the darkest hole, the sharpest scream of inner terror at the deception and betrayal you feel, I can only offer hope by saying that in confronting the loss, you will find the real you. And when your soul is healed, refreshed, and free of the nightmare bondage of cult lies and manipulations, the real you will find a new path, a valid path--a path to freedom and wholeness. Janja Lalich
Posted on: Sun, 28 Dec 2014 11:18:36 +0000
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