ROAD TO LEJEUNE (Day 19) There was always anxiety before deploying as there was so much uncertainty. And I must be honest, as the Anniversary of the bombing is upon us this week, I have a variety of feelings, but mostly sadness and a very deep feeling of emptiness. And that is of course from the sense of loss of so many lives. And while I made a conscious decision to go the memorial service this week, there is still hesitation in the back of my head. I realize that I still have demons that I must face. This week I had a bit of an epiphany. For decades, I have watched the old timers (war veterans) gather together at memorials and days of remembrance. And probably like you, I always had gratitude and respect for guys who gave so much and then managed over time to maintain unity. I then realized I had become one of them. At 50 and with most about my age, I reflect how we have become the same. I needed to be there just not for me, but for the others. And like the USS Arizona, we are but a small group. In context to most wars, there were only tens of thousands of us involved in the operations, not millions. I realize that it is so important to remind people of our story. Not only will history probably repeat itself at some point, but because of our numbers, we will be lost to obscurity like the USS Maine or the Spanish-American War. Tomorrow, I deploy at 09:00 to begin the journey to Lejeune. And as I am driving, the 750 trip will undoubtedly feel like a million miles. Wisdom has taught me that hindsight is really 20/20. We don’t know our purpose in life and sometimes it isn’t until years later that you realize what that is and what piece of the puzzle you were. I have some sense of that now. I have also learned that things are often out of your control and you must accept that. And the faster you turn your problems and fears over to God, the better off you will be in the long term.
Posted on: Sat, 19 Oct 2013 11:32:47 +0000
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