Rant of the Day: Something has to be done about Alex Trebek without his moustache. Since 1984, he’s looked like a guy who could f*** up Albert Einstein in a nerd brawl, but he shaved off his moustache in 2001, and he’s looked like the man version of Bea Arthur ever since. If you were a contestant on Jeopardy, it used to be you would hang your head in shame if Trebek said you were wrong. Now, you just get pissed off and want to kick his ass, like any geek off the street. Seriously, if Trebek and his moustache told me that I just used who/whom incorrectly in a sentence, I’d probably fight back some tears and enroll in night school the next day. Present-day Trebek says that to me, though, and I dunk him in a toilet. That’s because the power is in the moustache! Look at Tom Selleck. Magnum P.I. one minute, and … shaved moustache … human jelly doughnut the next. Now that I think about it, all I needed was a fake moustache and all my middle-school problems would’ve been solved. I’ll take NERD HINDSIGHT for 200, you unintimidating, moustache-less geek.
Posted on: Mon, 22 Jul 2013 23:11:49 +0000