Re: Assignment submission number 34 by Mike Nicol - Thursday, 17 October 2013, 03:56 PM Your third person pov works particularly well. One thing you could try is to move into character with Jane. Heres an EG: His face transformed into something ugly, and she steeled herself for the the blow she was sure would come. For a moment she felt a cold fear and closed her eyes, retreating into herself. But then she heard a voice saying, No, no, stay with this, dont let him threaten you. Damn you, Mathews, she thought. Damn you. Jane stood, her hands ..... This sort of device heightens the tension and the drama and gives you some insight into Jane. Worth remembering. Your first person works well too although you could perhaps have spent more time on Janes thoughts and emotions. With the first person you have access to the characters inner workings and it is always worth exploiting these as this sort of intimacy makes the reader empathise with the character. Show parent | Reply | Like | Thanks | Permalink Jeunice De Montille likes this
Posted on: Mon, 04 Nov 2013 21:19:10 +0000
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