Reviewing Maureen Collins’s book called Straight Talk-how to manage conversations that scare you Imagine a world in which you could speak up. You would not have to tolerate people who drove you crazy….uMaureen Collins gives us tips on how to talk straight without fear. What is Maureen saying in this book? She says there are people who can’t say no because they fear that others will criticise them of being selfish, uncaring or unhelpful. Don’t be scared to get details of what you are expected to do, how much it will cost you, know where you are getting yourself into. She say there are people who end up in debts because they were asked to assist and fail to say they won’t be able to do it She says sometimes you don’t have to apologise for showing your feelings Be honest about your feelings-don’t allow to be pressured Knowing to stand your ground minimises stress If you scared to defend yourself you end up talking behind that person’s back Talking about how you feel it’s a sign that you are relieving yourself from being oppressed When you are not saying anything, people will assume that all is well with you. And you are actually teaching people to drive you crazy You need a skill to talk; otherwise you can quit your job or marriage because of anger. What make people scared to defend themselves? They are scared to break their hearts forgetting that they are hurting by not defending themselves They don’t want to be seen as insensitive people There are people we say are toxic-aggressive, bullying, abusive, and disrespectful we are scared to respond to them but they also put us in trouble Why it is important to respond? That people know you have brains and feelings That people need to respect your opinions and stand for what you are saying. When you hide your feelings in a relationship, you hide impartant information that help you both If you don’t say anything you are not honest to yourself too. Responding/talking you are also showing the person you are talking to that he/she is important you don’t want to see him wondering If you are not saying anything you are putting yourself at risk of being abused and a victim of racism. There are types of people that we need to avoid, why? We avoid our superiors, even when they say something we can’t do but end up doing it because of their positions It’s very difficult to have a straight talk with parents but you can voice your opinion/feelings with respect The best way to avoid unnecessary conversation is to move away from someone who can make you say things that you can later on regret Avoid negative people who see the worst in everyone; being around them is like liing under wet blanket Lesson you can find in this book According to Maureen, speaking for yourself helps you avoid things that can dent the relationship with those you assisted and make sure you are not neglecting your own things. There are people who end up being victims because everybody knows they are helpful because they can’t say no. Make sure you know where to draw the line in your relationship and all will be well with you Standing for what you said makes you have a healthy relationship without feeling any pressure rather have few things to say than to sort out the result caused by your shyness to defend yourself Raising your opinion does not mean you must speak harshly or loud When you humble yourself during your conversation makes the other person sees his/her mistake Think before you speak especially when you speak with a rough person
Posted on: Thu, 10 Jul 2014 05:35:21 +0000
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