Ryan, its Mama. Your big brother Kevin is getting married next month. The idea of you not being his best man and by his side breaks my heart. You and all of us have been robbed of your life. I know it is hard for your brother Kevin. He misses you so much. Our family is incomplete now. I am so sorry we dont have justice yet. Im fighting hard tho baby, I know you see that. I know Im getting stronger everyday. I pray your proud of me baby Buddha. This loneliness is awful though. Its so hard to go from a Mama of 4, 2 still at home to completely living alone. Mama had to learn how to cook for 1, I had no idea what I liked to eat cuz I always just ate what yall liked. You kids are my life. I still have your medicine in the cabinet. The idea of throwing it away freaks me out. I go into your room and look at your t-shirts hanging in the closet and smell them wanting so bad for them to hug me like you used to. You gave the best hugs baby. Always loved so deeply. GOD I NEED YOU NOW. PLEASE GOD WHY DID MY BABY GET SHOT AND KILLED!!!!! I NEEDED HIM..... RYAN LOVED ME SO MUCH. Oh Ryan James Mama will fight until it kills me I promise you!!!! Every day Im getting closer to you thats what keeps me going. Im blessed to have your brother and sisters & My grand babies. I love you so so so very much. Missing you more then these words could ever express. Love Mama ♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥
Posted on: Sat, 19 Jul 2014 05:42:34 +0000
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