Santa: Give me one room with double-bed. Hotel Manager: But Sir, you seem to be alone. Santa: Yes. But I am married and I wish to enjoy silence from the other side of the bed! ---------------------------------------------------------------Santa is taking a woman home after their first date. When they get to her door, he asks if he can come inside. Woman: Absolutely not. I never ask a guy to come in on the first date. Santa: All right. Then how about on the last date? ---------------------------------------------------------------In Santas office, there was a very nasty smell on a very hot day. One of Santas co-worker couldnt take and remarked, Obviously someones deodorant isnt working. Santa in the corner shouted back, Well, it cant be me because Im not wearing any. ---------------------------------------------------------------Drunk Santa was driving and hit a policeman. The policeman died. As a good citizen, Santa decided to inform police. He called 100 and said, Now You Are 99! ---------------------------------------------------------------A cop stops drunk Santa and asks, How high are you? Santa: Thats wrong English, you should say, Hi, How are you? ---------------------------------------------------------------Banta: Whats the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? Santa: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer. ---------------------------------------------------------------Banta: Whats Marriage? Santa: Marriage is the 7th sense of humans that destroys all the six senses and makes the person Non-sense. ---------------------------------------------------------------Santa: I nearly got hit by a woman driving a car this morning. Banta: You seem to have had a narrow escape. Santa: Yeah! I luckily I jumped out of the way just in time. Banta: Which road was it? Santa: Phew! Road? I was jogging in the park. ---------------------------------------------------------------Banta: Whats the difference between us and Camels? Santa: They can work without drinking for 7 days and We can drink without working for 7 days! ---------------------------------------------------------------An Englishman asked Santa, How far is land? Santa: 2 KM. Englishman jumped into sea. Englishman: Now, which direction? Santa: Downwards. ---------------------------------------------------------------Santa on an interview for the post of detective was asked a question. Interviewer: Who killed Gandhiji? Santa: Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate. ---------------------------------------------------------------Doctor: I see youre over a month late for your appointment. Dont you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention, whats your excuse? Santa: I was just following your orders. You told me to avoid people who irritate me. ---------------------------------------------------------------Santa: You will never succeed,in making that dog obey you. Jeeto: Nonsense its only a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble with u at first. ---------------------------------------------------------------Jeeto to Santa on Valentines day, What is 10 years with me? Santa: A second. Jeeto: What is Rs 5,000 to you? Santa: A coin. Jeeto: OK! Give me a coin. Santa: Wait a second! ---------------------------------------------------------------Banta: Whats the best example of once in a lifetime opportunity? Santa: A mosquito sitting on your wifes face. ---------------------------------------------------------------A kid bought stuff worth Rs 45 from Santas shop and gave him a 5 rupee note and put 0 (zero) behind 5 and gave it to Santa. On top of it, he asked for the balance Rs 5. Having been outsmarted, Santa took out a 50 rupee note and crossed 0 (zero) with a pen and gave it to the kid and said, Now we are even! ---------------------------------------------------------------Santa: Candle light bubble baths are so relaxing. Banta: Really? Santa: Yep! Banta: But when and where do you take it? Santa: I dont take it. Every time my wife
Posted on: Sat, 01 Feb 2014 16:10:34 +0000
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