September 5, 2013 3:00am Good morning. The only grief in this entry today is the grief I am getting from the people I should be able to count on the most. I am ready to draw the curtain on this day as it has been one of the most difficult in quite some time. I lost my religion twice as my facebook journal has become the focus of a surprise attack from within my family. One relative actually suggested…”you should shut your facebook page down.” I went off on them. The insinuation is that somehow my wall will have a detrimental impact on their business, with another relative claiming that they are already losing customers because of the embarrassing revelations about my relationship with my father. Really??? What part of my relationship with my father do they not understand? I have every right to share it with whomever I choose. Both conversations ended in anger and one with the promise that I will need an attorney, because they believe I need their permission to even mention them in this forum. The sad part is that the relative who said they’re going to sue me has NEVER READ MY WALL. I shared three words: BRING IT ON!!! Somehow they think that all I have done is trash the family in every status update. I told them to get over themselves. I think they fear that I will reveal “real” family secrets. As those who read know, this is not a place where I am “airing dirty laundry”. It is a place where I have worked through my grief from the loss of my wife last year. I have shared this process and my life with thousands of people who are not related to me and they think that stinks! I will neither apologize nor shut down this wall, but regardless of today’s unpleasantness, there are only two more days to post and then my year-long journal following the death of my wife, Teresa, will come to it’s conclusion. She passed away September 7, 2012. My first post relating to it was September 9, 2012 and I will make the last “grief journal” entry this Saturday. After that it is something different, but I hope to maintain the same attitude and I will share things from my new job and people I meet and places I go. Grief is no longer the “elephant in the room” for me. I am at peace with the fact that the woman I loved and was married to for more than a quarter-century is gone and not coming back. As I have said before, I know that there is no divine conspiracy against my happiness, the things in my life are the challenges meant just for me. My hope was that in sharing what I was dealing with, I could get a different perspective of my situation and I did. I soon heard from hundreds of people who literally have it “worse” than me. Some say I have helped them along the way but it doesn’t matter to the members of my family who are upset. One actually wrote to me…”Get behind me Satan!” I am not the devil. The devil is in the details I have no problem sharing, which are details of my life over the last 363 days. I have been brave enough to give, as best I can, an unflinching look into my life and a glimpse of my thoughts as I wrestled with the loss of my true love. It is a love that makes me the man I am today, which to me is better than the man I was. God has led me to this path and I am trying my best to be a good Christian, but I will not be bullied by anyone, especially my own blood. While I believe in the power of prayer and what God does for me, I am a man. When the right buttons are pushed, I am still as salty as a sailor denied shore leave after six months at sea. It isn’t pretty or polite and I am not proud of it. But it’s true, as is what I have shared with you over the last year. You all know, if you’ve been reading, I don’t just write about things that make me look good or sound wise. I just share my thoughts and the things going on in my life. Especially when I think I have erred or slighted someone. God continues to bless me though I fall far short of the command to love thy neighbor. Sometimes it’s a lot easier when you aren’t from the same gene pool. Again, my facebook wall won’t go away on Sept. 7. It’s nature and focus will change. I will resume once I move to Georgia in 16 days. When I resume my posts it will be a nearly daily log of the new chapter of my life as a single dad in a new environment and as a reporter in one of the most dynamic cities in all of the South. I don’t have any family there, so posts about them should be a minimum and considering how some of them feel about me right now, I don’t expect a lot of visits from them, if any. I hate it, but I am OK with it as I must be true to myself. I want to thank you all for the continued love, support, and prayers. () p.s. I am having a tough time getting the romantic dance video to load. Sorry! As soon as I do I will post it.
Posted on: Thu, 05 Sep 2013 07:00:41 +0000
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