Shared from Stevie Mac. Please read. #Bowelcancerawareness. Poo Sample Guide - Bowel Screening Ok .. some possible barriers and questions to Davy Mitchell a veteran of the process Preparing yourself 1. 3 days in a row or can there be a space in between? 2. What if ah decide its too soft - ah drink Guinness remember? 3. Pee before commencing main sample capture activity. This would be a perfectly normal and involuntary part of doing a No.2 therefore have to separate the process so that No.1 is done, the environment is flushed clear, and then No.2 can begin) - or hold it in. Didnt mention any of that in the instructions. Preparing the site: 4. Use of toilet paper to capture the target - how to lay out 5. Use of toilet paper in the lower area of the toilet bowl to prevent water creepage to target toilet paper trap. 6. Layout all necessary equipment, sample recepticle card window number one, open and ready; 2 sticks removed from the set of 6 - warning there are no spares and 3 days of samples to take, 2 sticks per sample - 7. Trousers and pants at yer ankles which will ensure trouble ahead if you need tae make any sudden moves 8. Dump - you will now be more aware of every nuance of taking a dump than youve ever been before in yer life, or if ye are 52 or over, since yer last sample collection 9. Job done - excuse the pun. Flamin heck wasnt expecting a pile like that! 10. Sample time BUT first ... do ye wipe yer bum? Well aye BUT ... where are ye gonnae put the soiled toilet paper? Ok ah came up wae a solution for that but cannae share it for embarrassment .. Take 1st stick and use the pointed end (ah think???) tae take yer first sample. 2nd stick will be used to take a second sample in similar fashion but at the other end of the poo. This was more difficult the first time ah did this on turning 50 year old because Im sure it was 3 samples, one from the start, one from the end and one from somewhere in the middle. A real problem if you dump coils! 11. Sample taken, stick in hand, some strategically placed loo paper sticking oot fae ma cheeks .. hands full cannae remove it, cannae pull ma troosers and pants up either mind - and Davy was saying this is a dawdle ... now all ah have to do is get it onto the sample card. 12. There are 3 small windows on the sample card and 2 little mini swatch areas in each window. I have to put my 2 samples in the first window. Which is FEKKIN shut!!! 13. So when both hands are full and you normally need to do some other task how would you NORMALLY do it? Yep exactly - yer teeth! Aw naw, no on this ocassion Davy ma man. So a balanced the sticks on the edge of the bath and then banged ma head on the corner ae the cupboard door when ah turned back roon tae get the card. F**K!!!! Ah open the wee windae and turned round tae get the first stick - which thankfully remained precariously balanced on the edge of the bath - ma luck is in. 14. Ah smeared, as instructed, the first sample in the wee sample area, of which as I said earlier, there are 2. The question of how much tae smear runs through ma mind as ah felt ah didnae quite spread enough butter on the toast if ye get ma drift, on the first one. Ah was a bit mair generous wae the second stick, which by the way I again had tae turn roon, this time wae card in hand AND troosers and kecks still at ankles and aw that bloody mess still in the pan and get the second stick withoot knocking anything over or banging ma heid or getting anything oan ma fingers. Ah even pause for a second tae think Thank gawd ahm no a nail-biter! Aw ah need to do now is shut the wee window - it has a wee sticky bit like see-through blu-tack so it holds tightly closed. Ah do that and because ah was a bit over generous wae the second sample .. well ah wont go intae further detail. 15. Clean up. So thats it. The first of 3 samples is taken and ah think, as this is ma 3rd one now - 50, 52 and now 54 - ahm getting pretty good at this. Ah may even contact the Bowel Screening Centre at nhsinform.co.uk/screening/bowel and offer my instructions above. On a serious note ... if youre a bloke in Scotland aged 50 or over and you have NOT ever done one of these then contact them on the link above. I lost a really good football mate of mine last January to bowel cancer at 54 year old. A fit guy and a fighter but it took him. The sooner bowel cancer can be identified the much higher the chances are that ye will beat it!
Posted on: Wed, 19 Mar 2014 19:18:03 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015