Sjc head to the big smoke! Following our reasonable success at Manchester and Sandbach kaf took it upon himself to book the boys next challenge. I’m not too sure if he couldnt be arsed to travel up and see us, that SJC have a strong southern ex pat contingent these days or he wanted to sample how hard it its to organise this bunch of rabble. Anyhow it was on, SJC were playing in the Find Rugby Now sevens at Ilford RUFC. A 10am start resulting in 4am wake up calls was the first obstacle. Two cars departed from Manchester and stoke respectively, considering we were late to Manchester 7s the jury was out. The stoke contingent ran like clockwork with Cush, Butler and Martin all on schedule however, Bails was a little slow out the blocks due to unforeseen circumstances the night before which I think he had foreseen.... Keele services was the meet point to gather thoughts, talk tactics, have a coffee and breakfast. Unfortunately we remembered this at Stafford and thought it best to see where the Manc lads were. First contact with Evans was not the news we were expecting as their location was Altrincham waiting for a certain Freddie Oakey. (Oh bloody hell). His chopper back in his pants they set off. Obstacle number two was the London rail and ticket system which posed a sizeable threat but kaf was on hand. Scarily we all made it on time and in the right place- an SJC record. We were met by Butler Senior, Alex, Rich and Rob from Warwick Uni adding to the strong squad we had assembled with debuts being handed to the Oakey brothers, Cush and a welcome return to Huy after a sabbatical from the game. The first mistake of the day was despite it already being a thousand degrees we pitched unshaded in between both pitches directly under the scorching sun, arrogantly turning up our noses at the shaded areas around the ground. What we really needed was Cordie and his gazebo but he was too busy getting cats out of trees, clearing leaves out the drains and sliding down his pole. The sun cream was flowing and bucket hats were out it looked more like a trip to benicassim not a 7s tournament I was half expecting Dan Hall to pop out! On the other hand there were plenty of southern pussays sporting a snapback and loose fitting vest tops spurting out such phrases as ‘suns out guns out hey Henry’. The worst part was the amount of top knots kicking around- No self respecting parent would let their offspring walk out the house no matter what age with a lid as bad as that! One jammy dodger we had previous with at Manchester sevens he was still clearly intimidated and steared well clear of Evans Game 1 5-5 (Draw) with and exciting looking team we entered our first battle on southern soil. The warm up nearly ended several boys as it was already stupidly hot- Ugandan farmers don’t even work in this kind of heat! We started brightly if not a little erratically with many new combinations being finely tuned. It was evident this was a bunch of 15s players having a go at 7s but the structure came. Some good combinations between Oakey and Martin were backed up with elusive running and strong defence by Bailey. I had my doubts when the reff came plodding over, he was probably 60+ wearing an ill-fitting pink shirt and sporting a knee brace. Ruck time was a farce with southern rugby seemingly having different rules at the break down. Apparently you can kill the ball and go straight off your feet, hold onto the ball on the floor and not release the tackled player! These combinations lead to ruck time being painfully slow. His finest call came when Oakey lofted his line out throw over the top for butler claim. Phil the power couldn’t have thrown his arrows any straighter than young George with him throwing the ball on the half way line and it bouncing dead on the half way line… Astonishingly he gave this as not straight. Team managers Houldcroft and Evans who had managed to prize themselves from the bar to watch our game were not happy and lodged a formal and informal complaint. It fell on deaf ears, but I literally think he was deaf. Some individual brilliance by rich evading several defenders to break away and score under the posts gave SJC the lead unfortunately he missed the conversion which proved to be decisive. The inevitable happed in the second half and they scored however, they too missed their conversion leaving the final score 5-5. A good start; some nice link up play, good work around the park and some structure coming together. Game 2 15-19 (Lost) Next was invitational side Rah Rah Rugby who were a South African mix of players. The first half was strongly fought with a physical edge that only Safferrs know! They were fired up on beef jerky with one fat prick in the front row trying his best to dominate the boys from Stoke. Thank god we didn’t have Armstrong playing; his line speed and 99 calls would have caused mayhem. Fortunately we had cush who is just as much of a loose cannon but knows the time and place and to be honest is harder. Some good exchanges out wide and good use of the ball meant that SJC were well within a chance of a first W. Changes a plenty at half time as the heat was sapping the energy out the boys, Perhaps too many subs at once disrupted our rhythm and a very soft try early in the second half; a walk in after a simple step and go. We battled hard and got our noses back in front. Again a poor call from the helmet with the whistle as a clear knock on in the tackle was astonishingly missed as their scrum half picked up the ball and ran in again unchallenged. This cost us the game and our first W the ref wasn’t too bothered either to the annoyance of the boys. A sour taste was left in the mouth and a kick in the balls but on we went. Game 3 42-0 (Lost) LOL This game was written off before we even played as we all knew we had as much chance of winning this game as cordie has finishing a full 80 minutes! The earlier professional outlook of plenty of water and electrolytes before games had swapped to lager shandy and pimms! The warmup was about as enthusiastic as a year 4 spelling test. I think we received the kick off put the ball through the hands then Ash kicked it across field and out on the full. That was the last time we had the ball in possession. Kaf got himself onto the match stats with an assist, a lovely floated interception pass for one of their boys to walk in under the sticks which happened a few times. I can’t remember the rest I sacked it off and let someone else get hounded down and abused by a well drilled side. Possibly the closest fought contest of the day came in the interlude with Houldcroft taking on Evans in a game of giant connect four. It was tense, tactics being deployed and mulled over like an inquisitive game of chess. Will he go here or will he go there running through the minds if I go here can he go there? It was as intense as a stand-off between two fat kids and the last rolo! It was won by Evans with the simplest move; one which left Houldcroft in pieces. Nothing another beverage couldn’t amend but his ego was dented. A long wait was then on the cards as we had to play in the bowl or plate or saucer or teapot or whatever other competition these mugs were running. There was plenty of grumbling to sack it off and get on the drill. We didn’t sack it but some drill was had resulting in us being late for our next game so we went straight on with no warm up which is probably for the best! Game 4 24-15 (WIN) As this team finished higher in another group we again were expected to get bummed. Against all odds the Joes boys flicked a switch and it all came together, it was probably the pimms and stella which made some of the boys function better and think normally again. One of our best tries of the day was scored first, with lovely rugby taking the ball wide to the right and then spinning it wide left with smalley galloping away like Unicorn on heat. He really was that elegant. We stunned the cunning stunts and they were on the back foot. They sneaked one back with a dubious penalty 5 metres out after heroic scramble defence; this was for not releasing the tackler, first one of the day. Another weapon was in charge of the game. Next some lovely work down the right resulted in Ash racing into the corner and touching down. Farce number two- The ref was just about to give the TRY and some half cut southern chopper who was acting as touch judge decided he was out. A pretty mean feat for a bald twat wearing glasses who was standing on the half way line. He had a differing opinion to a group of lads sitting in the corner right next to the tryline. Two southern Muppets put their empty swedes together, added 2+2 and made 5 to come up with the decision he was out. Northern uproar! Karma resulted in us scoring a few phases later but still what a load of Bo****ks. Some good rugby by the boys in this game shocking the opposition causing an upset. Big mention to Huy who made a try saving tackle on Rhino from gladiators twin brother! Defence was strong we used the ball well and battled hard. Personally I think it was the stella which has similar effects on the boys in Lakota on a Friday night. On we went! This was not in the script and while there was elation for this great performance and win it meant we had to play another game! Most had been awake since 4am and been in baking in baking hot sunshine all day Holdcroft and Evans were suffering with sunburn in the heat and had done every activity available to do at the tournament! So back onto the pimms! By now we had lost 3 players to unjury. Alex-hamstring, smalley-bruised/grazed knee, Mcarthy-Sunburn. Game 5 tinpot trophy final (12-17) Lost SJC are steadily building their reputation of chocking like B rabbits in six mile! Another final, another loss in a game we should have won. We started like men possessed scoring three tries in the first half! The second half we let them back into it we just couldn’t get our hands on the ballon. They drew level and then the biggest moment of the day… we were under the cosh and in our own 10 metre line. 7s is a game of ball retention, tactical nous, speed and fitness. Ash had different ideas…. He went to kick the ball down field with his flashy new orange boots but he sliced it. In fact he hacked at it with a butchers knife! It went spurting out right and behind the dead ball area. What a shocker the boy had! Looked like a right clown, in front of all those people aswell.. We managed to keep them out for a few phases then with the last play of the game we had a scrum 5 out. The muppet in the front row had been having on and off niggle with cush- not something I would advise! However as George fed in the ball their hooker still had his foot up from about 3 scrums earlier and the ball fired out the back putting young oakey under pressure. Their scrum half pounced and scored. We lost it in the dying seconds of the game! Gutting to say the least. And again the whalley with the whistle had a hand in the outcome of the game! Freddy was top try scorer with 3, everyone worked hard in what were unpleasant conditions. This tournament brought an end to our 7s season with us losing in two finals and one semi. A good debut year on sevens circuit and next season looks promising. Big thanks to Red Cow media for their sponsorship we look forward to repeat business next year! ;) Last but not least all the players involved both ex Joes and non Joes playing members. It has been an honour and a privilege to wear the shirt again with so many of you and something I hope becomes an annual occurrence. We are looking to do another circuit next year so keep your eyes peeled for tournaments and any SJC old boys/associates are more than welcome to get involved. Cheers for the laughs. Fideliter et Fortiter Faithful and Strong x
Posted on: Tue, 29 Jul 2014 21:34:57 +0000
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