Smile For the Camera A belief system I recently noticed I had inherited through social conditioning is the following: when having a conversation, especially with people who you are trying to make a good impression on...who you, on some level, feel you need to prove something to...be as positive as possible. Overall, the idea is downplay (and often ignore) what is bad, and overemphasize what is good. I do understand why this approach seems valid...and in many cases, is. If you make people feel good by talking about whats good, theyll like you and want to invest more time into speaking with you. If you make people feel bad by talking about whats not working, theres a good chance theyll run the other way and perhaps never talk with you again. This is how the marketing world works. If you watch any advertisement, I can guarantee youll see an over-emphasis on whats good about whats being sold. After all, if they told you what could go wrong, would you ever buy? (Minus the fine print side effects for medications...) While there is a lot of validity to using this strategy, there is also much to be said about looking at what bringing up the negative in conversation does for you and the person youre speaking to. For one, people will become less attached or dependent to your positivity. By being positive all the time, you become extremely polarizing. People come to expect you to be positive. If youre suddenly not, theyll start pushing you to be more positive, rather than accepting you for who youre being and how youre feeling. With more emotionally balanced conversations comes more emotionally balanced relationships. Rather than positive positive positive all the time...followed by a huge negative crash, you awknowledge and accept how youre feeling and are able to move through it, rather than burying it deep inside. Youre also more willing to accept where someones at, rather than trying to fix them. Another aspect is that for the people who show up in your life, theyll see you as someone who is more on their level, rather than a god to be worshipped. The biggest benefit of all...you wont have to worry about thinking of what to say before you say it or figuring out how to sugarcoat things. Being direct, honest and freely expressing yourself in the moment is one of the most liberating things you could possibly experience. If youve ever been to a solo or group therapy session, you know how you feel afterwards. That emotional freedom has much less to do with the therapist and much more to do with how willing to honestly share the full spectrum of your emotions you were. Having said all this, always be aware of who youre talking to and what you want from them. At times, you will need to speak more positively if youre selling something and you want something from the person youre talking to. Otherwise youll likely lose the sale or maybe even get fired from your job. This is the nature of the beast...and sometimes, youve gotta play by the rules in order to get what you want. #realtalk To illustrate this point, Im gonna share the good and the bad...after spending my first day in the desert. I like living on my own and having my own room. I dislike having to prepare my own food (especially when you attempt to boil water on a stove incapable of boiling water for 90 minutes...only to realize you can pressure cook the pasta in 5 minutes lol). I like having privacy when Im in my room. I dislike having to wear earplugs when Im in my room to mute out the sound from outside (neighbors), although I am grateful to at least have earplugs :) I like having access to clean food and water. The water in every faucet is biophotonically structured (Google it if youre interested). I feel more alive & refreshed with every sip. I like living in the middle of nature. Its extremely peaceful, at night especially...and I look forward to exploring my surroundings. I dislike having to watch out for rattlesnakes with my every step. I dislike the drastic temperature change from the morning to the night...but hey, at least its not polarizing, right? :P Also not a big fan of mosquito bites... But overall, I feel extremely grateful & blessed to be where I am and to experience life as I am. Until we speak next, take care and be aware...if you have any comments, feel free to share...do you see what I just did there? ;)
Posted on: Thu, 13 Nov 2014 05:32:43 +0000
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