So the semester is ending, and it is high time that you all finished meeting our newbies. Trouble is, our third newbie went missing awhile back, and we’ve had a hard time finding him… Hooo… okay. See that over there? The thing that looks like the lovechild of Shaq and the Jolly Green Giant? He’s coming closer…and closer…oh the humanity is he enormous. Look! His biceps have biceps! And traps. He’s a walking bicep! And he looks pissed. Look he’s about to yell at us, oh Lord what is he going to say… …He’s singing?? And it’s not bad! Well that was shocking. He sounds kinda like Mike Tyson sans lisp and Usher. And, whatayaknow, we kinda like it! This giant’s name is Justin Baker. Football player and fraternity man by day, a cappella singer by night. He’s like the Batman of sissies! But seriously, the man’s voice is like butter. The real kind too, not like the fake ‘I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter’ auto-tune garbage (here’s looking at you, T-Pain and Kanye). His pearly whites can light up Yankee Stadium, he’s built like a Greek god, and he’s a very frugal, yet stylish shopper (line starts over here, ladies). So, great big world: you like your men tall, dark, and handsome? Two out of three ain’t bad! And with a voice like that, who wouldn’t want to wife up J-J-J-JAY BAKES on the spot!? Welcome to the group, Baker. Please don’t hurt us.
Posted on: Thu, 13 Nov 2014 04:54:15 +0000
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