Sometime my conspiracy friends get a bit out of hand, so to prove how silly 9/11 would be to plan i present to you... The meeting! The Meeting The suggestion that someone would need to fly airplanes into two buildings and blow them up is in itself absurd. Could you imagine the meeting?... Government: We want to cause a tragedy so great the American people will blindly follow us into war... What do you think gentlemen... Accomplice #1: Well, the Towers are a perfect choice.. Its been bombed before. We can just blame Osama again. Weve been priming the American people by having him blow up our warships and our buildings in other countries. Government: Yeah, good idea! How will we do that? Accomplice #1: We can hire Osama to get some of his friends to fly planes into it! Accomplice #2: Wait... I have a better idea, We can BOMB the buildings! Accomplice #1: Well, that means placing enough bombs into two 110 story buildings. Thats going to take a lot of man power and risk us being uncovered... Accomplice #2: Yeah, but that way, you’re sure to knock them down. Besides, maybe the hijackers won’t make it to the target. Maybe theyll be uncovered! Accomplice #1: But you dont need to knock them down, all you need is the horrific sight of the planes hitting the buildings. People will get the message. Its an attack on American soil. Well also have people like the blind sheik to cover for us. Well even put a guy on a train with evidence. Your plan isnt perfect either, you know. Do I have to remind you of Operation Towel Pop? We already tried to embarrass Clinton by knocking it down and failed. Accomplice #2: Yeah, our Bay of Pigs, but I say the only way they can get the message is if we knock them down. Accomplice #1: Do not Accomplice #2: Do too Accomplice #1: Do not Accomplice #2: Do too Accomplice #1: Do not Accomplice #2: Do too Government: Gentlemen, gentlemen... Please... What the hell, well just do both! :blink: How do we do that? I mean, how do you keep explosions from showing up on TV? Were going to have to investigate this at some point. How do we cover up the scene? Accomplice #2: But why not just knock it dow... Government: Ive made my decision. Continue... Accomplice #2: OK.. We install charges on every floor so that after the planes hit, we blow each floor under the crash floor one by one, very fast to simulate pancaking. Well let the building burn a while just for effect. This will also give time for the trusses to sag making it LOOK like a fire caused the building to fall. Accomplice #1: Nice touch... Accomplice #2: Why, thank you. :) ...Well set a charge off in the middle of the building AFTER the top is on its way down so everyone thinks the puffs of debris coming from the windows are from the tremendous hypodermic needle like pressure blowing debris from the weakest point in the building. Government: What about the sound of explosions? Isnt that a dead giveaway? Accomplice #2: No problem, Well just let them think its normal electrical explosions like transformers blowing up or the initial concrete and steel and floors hitting the floors below. Accomplice #1: Yeah, it could also be the steel columns snapping like twigs from the tremendous weight of the floors above... Dont worry, we have disinformation specialists in key internet forums. Government: WOW, You guys think of everything.. What about Building 7? Can we take that out at the same time? Accomplice #1: We won’t be able to fly planes into it, thats for sure... Accomplice #2: Leave it to me. If we set off the explosions just right, we can have one of the towers hit Building 7, missing the two next to it. After that, we can set fires on the bottom floors and let it burn for a while, you know, to make it look possible for a normal collapse. Ill call my agent in the fire department to get everyone out before we blow it. Ill figure a way to make the floors look buckled for effect as well. Government: Amazing ... I also want to take out the Pentagon. Any suggestions? Accomplice #1: What well do is hijack a plane just for effect, then fire a missile at the Pentagon. A bunker buster. Government: But what about the people on the plane? Accomplice #1: Well land the plane in area 51, then shoot them all. Government: Why not use the plane instead of the missile? That way, you take care of all the evidence at the same time... People on the highway can also see the planes hit. If you use a missile, theres going to be a lot of witnesses who saw a missile and not a plane. Accomplice #1: Err... ah, dont worry about these small details. I have an undercover op in the DC police department who will take the names down and shot them all. Government: How are you going to get all the people involved in this? Bush isnt exactly loved you know.. Accomplice #1: Dont worry, psych-ops will take care of the brainwashing of the American people. As for the media, we control the left and the right! Government: GREAT! Nice work all! Let’s make the target date Sept 11, 2001.
Posted on: Sun, 26 Oct 2014 19:38:17 +0000
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