Sometimes people see me as a giant, or a monster, or a freak - or - TopicsExpress

Sometimes people see me as a giant, or a monster, or a freak - or so Ive been told. Even the guys I work out with who are bigger than me, see me as something else. Something larger. Its odd to me. I am just Ed. Gross reality of life is I can be an asshole, but most of the time I am one of the nicest guys you will ever meet. Id give the shirt off my back to a stranger if I thought he needed it. I believe deeply in family and friends. I fear God. If I care about you, its for real, its just not when you are with me--its all the time and yes I am thinking about you often. If I love you, its never 99%, its 110%+ and its for life. I love a lot of people. I love being a dad. I love my kids. I love my friends. I have the best friends. I still love my mom, Les, and several others that have left me for now. Im intelligent, very at times- but lack any and all common sense. I am loyal to my last breath. Certain people think I am flawed terribly - well, obviously I am. Tell me something I dont know. I have made more mistakes in my life than I care to remember. Some I can laugh at. I love to laugh. Some I still cry about today. I am emotional, and some perceive that as a weakness. Trust me - Its not. Its just human. I have been called every name in the book, including not being a man - and that cuts like a jagged knife. But I hear my mothers voice telling me to stand tall and never sacrifice my principles, so I dont give in to the hurt. I have tried, so very hard, to be the best man I can be, the best father I can be, and the best friend I can be. Sometimes I feel indestructible, other times completely destroyed. I have been robbed of a lot in my life by just a few mean people. I am not vengeant nor begrudge. I just want a break. I am tired. I want honest and good people in the remainder of my life. No more stress. No more battles. No more hurt. Its not that I am not up for the battle or cant win it. I just realize the battles in life are mostly pointless and distract from living, really living. https://youtube/watch?v=-2U0Ivkn2Ds

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