Soo much weighing on my heart tonight.... I sure wouldnt take nothin to trade my raisin for nothing I dont begrudge it but when raised in holiness your required of more than someone who is just now beginning because youve had so much taught since the day you were brought into this world.... but sometimes my shoulders feel like theyve bore 150 lbs since I became accountable and suffered so much heartache lord i know im young and some may think im crazy.... but its true.... you know since a young age I didnt pray and read on what my clothes should look like or how to wear my hair becaus those were traditional standards taught and i knew but instead I was seeking the Lord to let me love others, to show me my work to help others, I didnt seek God for no extragivent gifts such as prophecy, or of healings, or of miracles.... but all I wanted was to have the gift of faith to be able to help my brothers and sisters to not feel alone in their trials and feel that pain that I felt I wanted to help others thru the lord to gelp feel that void of lonliness I felt.... as I got older I begin to seek God to feel that fire and to be able to take up serpents and prophecy... I would day dream about it all day... then I realized in order to feel thst fire I had to get that sweet holyghost power.. and in doin so I had to find out what excactly is that power... I begin to seek things out of the Godhead and understanding it fully and in the baptism but you know when I finally begin to searchout for it I got in my self tryin to find it my way and not letying God show me his way.. Its hard very hard. ... but its no ones fault but mine I cant sit and blame others that are still holdin on for the shape that I am in.... how can I get hurt at them because when I was so over my head in my spiritual struggles I couldnt even see them strugglin... so I cant be hurt at them or hold grudges towards them but this one thing I do know..... I love them... yes ive been hurt plumb cut down to the bone but its nobodys fault.... this is life youve got to accept responsibility over your own actions... not ur brothers or sister but ur own.... but to those that are out there that despise others and have lettin spite into ur hearts remember this before you try ro run me or my sisters down, try walkin a mile in our spiritual journy before you false accuse our intentions on what we do because even tho were are not where we need to be we are the Lords.... we belong to him he said he was married to the backsliders oh little tongues of fire you better choose your words carefully next... love every one
Posted on: Wed, 08 Oct 2014 01:53:29 +0000
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