Sorry for the delay in this weeks installment, but I wanted to get it out to you who are interested! For those who are just joining us, I post a weekly, Heavy Confession that is geared toward enlightening folks about the life of a larger than average-sized man. These stories and commentaries are meant to be fun and sometimes embarrassing; if youve missed prior weeks or want to go back and read more, just scroll through my timeline and pull up my Friday posts. HEAVY CONFESSIONS - Sleepy-time Tremors No matter your size, stature or girth level, we all get sleepy-time tremors. You know what Im talking about - the sudden jolt your body makes as youre either falling asleep or shortly thereafter. At home, in your own bed, this isnt a problem, although my wife would disagree. Theres no quicker way to scare my wife than to jump awake in a startling convulsion when shes almost asleep. Her heart stops and she instantly thinks Ive either been shot or clamped my feet to my truck battery (just for the record, neither of which Ive done). Home is one thing, but when these tremors happen in public … well, then youre in trouble. *insert dreamy harp music as we drift back to a day gone past* I had just located a seat on a very cramped Southwest Airlines flight. As is my typical routine, I nestled in for a nap on my first flight of the day (Im almost certain those overhead vents blow air mixed with sleeping aids, as Im out by takeoff). I was in a full row with my shoulders uncomfortably resting on the person next to me. This, my friends, is an average flight on Southwest, or any airline, for that matter. I began to drift into a nice nap, which Ive grown to love after having five boys; its amazing how easily you can sleep sitting up when you have five children in a six year span. I was drifting in and out of consciousness; you know, the state when youre not quite fully asleep, but your mind thinks you are. This, danger zone is when the sleepy-time tremors can take place. My mind visualized something hurtling directly at my face -- most times its a ball of some sort, but I dont remember what it was this time. For all I know, it could have been a box of Oatmeal Crème Pies, which you definitely dont want to drop. As the object flew into my face, or so I thought, I startled awake in an awkward, arms asleep flailing state I can only imagine Id do if I were trying to fly. My arms and legs spread as I let out a garbled, Ahhhh! This wouldnt have been a big deal if it were not for the crowded plane and the fact that the lady next to me startled and people stared. It was then that the lady, most likely an animal biologist, began talking me down like a caged up Silverback. Better yet, she might have been a hostage negotiator, as she said, Its okay. Youre alright, all while leaning away from me with her hands outstretched, pumping the brakes. Id like to say the sleepy-time tremors rarely happen, but Id be lying. Theyre kind of like the Tremors movie series; funny, a little bit scary, awkward, and way too many of them.
Posted on: Sat, 18 Oct 2014 14:42:22 +0000
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