Still recovering from the weekend. Puso Thahane and I had very successful Lobolo negotiations and I am so thrilled!!! What a journey it has been!! You can imagine how hard letting go of this process has been for us A-type control freaks (some more controlling than others). But I must say, it really made a huge difference being blessed with family members we trusted whole heartedly to represent our hopes, dreams and beautiful union. I wouldnt be myself if I didnt take the time to share some of the things that made this experience successful and I hope that these are helpful for someone out there who is preparing to walk this path. 1. Choose people that you respect to negotiate for you. They will play a pivotal role at the table and in your journey as a married couple and it is critical that their lives serve as a great model for you to emulate. 2. Dont be afraid to interrogate whether the people negotiating for you understand the true spirit of the process. Some of the best people (yes even role models) dont get it and its okay to take the time to make sure that youre entrusting the right people with this role of representing you at the negotiation table. 3. Have meetings beforehand with your delegation to make sure that they are sufficiently briefed. Yes, they get a seat at the table and a corresponding voice but they without a doubt need to represent your respective positions on the matter and they cant do that if you havent briefed them. 4. These negotiations are tough and at times thankless. Take the time to thank each member of your delegation. And dont be afraid to get each one a personalised gift to show them how grateful your are that theyve made the time to facilitate your journey to marriage. 5. If your parents are involved in the process. Make sure their know what your Lobolo comfort zone is so that they can help steer all persons involved to stay within it. [Doesnt always work but is worth a bash] 6. Last but not least, have fun. It really is a beautiful pitstop on your road to marriage. Embrace it fully. It wont go entirely according to plan but trust that what should be, will be.
Posted on: Mon, 12 Jan 2015 19:09:39 +0000
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