THIS is a very good article that was forwarded and posted by Ms. Glendll V. Bendana in one of my social networks in box. I found it useful and worth sharing for those who are still single, you might learn something from here. Those who are already married or in a commitment may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage & relationship ... DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON? “During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, How do I know if I married the right person? I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, It depends. Is he your husband? In all seriousness, she answered How do you know? Let me answer this question because the chances are good that its weighing on your mind. Heres the answer. EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse/partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit) . Falling in love with your spouse wasnt hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didnt have to DO anything. Thats why its called falling in love... Because its happening TO YOU. People in love sometimes say, I was swept of my feet. Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU. Falling in love is easy. Its a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. Its the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouses idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, Did I marry the right person? And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages or relationship breakdown. People blame their spouse/partner for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage/relationship for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. Im not saying that you couldnt fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY youd feel better. But youd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; ITS LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. Itll NEVER just happen to you. You cant find LASTING love. You have to make it day in and day out. Thats why we have the __expression the labor of love. Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage/relationship work. Sure true love can only happen after youve fallen out of love. When you begin choosing to love, even if you dont feel like doing it ---- thats true love. And thats the foundation of a lasting and strong marriage. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. Its a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. you can make love”. Love is indeed a decision.. . Not just a feeling. Youll not just go away with your relationship just because the feeling is gone. In the Bible, love is a command. You make it happen. Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go. Couple David and Evelyn said that Marriage is more than saying I Do. Marriage, is like a precious plant, needs constant tending for it to grow, flourish, and bear fruit to last a lifetime, and beyond. TAKE TIME TO READ... TO THOSE WHO ARE NOT MARRIED YET AND STILL SINGLE BUT SEARCHING, YOU MIGHT LEARN FROM IT... AND TO THOSE WHO ARE ALREADY MARRIED, YOU STILL MIGHT LEARN FROM IT.
Posted on: Mon, 25 Aug 2014 03:20:49 +0000
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