* The Leftover Rose * I was once given a rose by someone I love unconditionally with all my heart, and I will continue to love unconditionally for the rest of my life, till my final breath leaves my body, and my heart stops beating. As happy I as I was to have received this rose, it was bitter sweet. It was bitter sweet because I knew it was the leftover rose. The roses were to be given to the people who matter most in your life, the people who loved you, nurtured you, and influenced you in life up to that particular moment. I watched as one by one the roses were handed out. I sat there patiently waiting to be handed my rose. Then, as the roses disappeared I began thinking to myself “am I even going to get a rose at all?” I don’t understand. There was this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, the most painful thoughts running through my head. Finally! One rose left. They were all gone, but one. With no one else to give it to; I got the leftover rose. I know my face was radiating with disappointment and pain, I could feel it burning. My heart was racing, my stomach was aching. I felt as if I had been kicked in the stomach and all breath knocked out of me. I cried! I cried because I was happy, I cried because I was sad, I cried because I was mad. I was happy for this rose; it was the most beautiful rose! I loved it, I cherished it. I still have this rose today. I was sad because I was not the first rose. That I meant so little, so disregarded. I felt deflated. I was mad because I couldn’t imagine what I could have possibly ever done to deserve being “The Leftover Rose” I cried so many tears, lost so much sleep, and my heart ached. At times I thought my eyes could cry no more, my mind and body could not stay awake any longer, and my heart was going to stop beating. "The Leftover Rose" Crushed till all her petals fell off, and died of a broken heart. This is how I felt the day. This is how I feel today; once again. I am back there to that day. All the pains, disappointments, and heartaches have come back. Somehow no matter how hard I try, Someway no matter what I do. I always become the left over Rose. I have loved so dearly, so unconditionally, so sincerely. I am left with heartache, misery, sadness, and pain. I have cared so much. I am left disappointed, disillusioned, and bitter. I have given so much. I am emotionally drained, used up, and exhausted. “We always hurt the ones we love the most” That’s what I am told. This quote keeps playing over, and over in my mind. My only solace; is the belief that this is true. I have always only wanted to provide an honorable, sound, responsible, comfortable life for my family. I tried so hard to instill loyalty, honesty, respect, personal responsibility, self accountability, morality, and tradition! However; no matter how hard I have tried, there were just too many evil, cruel, dishonest, deceitful, disloyal, seditious forces working against me. Making my job arduous, taxing, and impossible! And in the end “evil has prevailed” But still… No matter how many tears I have cried, no matter how much disappointment, heartache, and misery I have endured. I am still here with arms wide open. Always accepting, Always Understanding, Always Forgiving, Always Loving. Always “The Leftover Rose!”
Posted on: Mon, 02 Sep 2013 10:14:28 +0000
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