The Painting: Began working on a painting before Open Studios, and well, I got stuck. As most of my work, it began with a dream. I do stuff for fun and just the pure lets try this (like the glass and bicycle part stuff) but the majority are dream oriented and those can get hard. Anyhow, the dream had a lot of alligators, crops growing, swampy area, big river, island with modern house, and me fighting these alligators at every turn, while owner of farm and house is seemingly uncaring of what is happening. I escaped numerous times, however the pain the alligators caused persisted. My dog was even in the dream comforting me, yet there was no comfort. Been back at work on this painting for a week now. Getting the basics down, trying to flesh out my understanding. Tonight, I watched a movie called Killing Season starring John Travolta and Robert Deniro. Very violent, about two soldiers from the Bosnian War. Deniro plays the US soldier living in the Appalachian Mtns regretting what had happened back then. Travolta plays a soldier from the side that was doing the ethnic cleansing, he too, in regret. Anyhow they end up fighting each other some 18 years later in the Appalachian Mountains both damaged from the violence they had seen, caused and received. Long story short, in the end, they walked away and healing had begun. While watching this I had an understanding and I do not take this lightly due to being a survivor of domestic violence. Here is what I understood: A black eye, broken rib, broken nose, beating, etc....the cause is immediate. Both victim and perpetrator see the immediate cause. Victim suffers, and more than likely will have some form of PTSD. It stays with them for sure, It changes them and shapes who they become. I know this, personally. The perpetrator may or may not suffer regret, remorse, sadness. They may go on to change the very way they live. The results are clear, obvious in many ways. How each heal or does not heal is evident. However, words, on the other hand. Emotional verbal abuse. That damage is unseen. There is no immediate consequence that is visible for either the victim or the perpetrator, thus, I believe, making it easier for the perpetrator to continue inflicting pain. In other words, the perpetrator is never clearly held responsible for the damage they have caused because neither they, nor their victim, nor the community fully understand how the damage reverberates down the years. So this dream has taken a turn, therefore so has the painting. I am eager to see what flows onto the canvas. Perhaps this is the right direction. Perhaps I have discovered in me a healing.
Posted on: Sun, 24 Nov 2013 04:04:05 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015