The People In Our Lives- If you were to walk through the front door of our house, without knowing it you’d probably walk right past this hat rack that hangs on our wall. I don’t think anyone has ever noticed it. Hanging on the hat rack are a few old hats of varying colors and styles, and buried beneath most of them is an old green baseball style cap that is worn mostly to threads. It was my old prison hat. I had this friend, Tounk, who was a great guy and as charming as anyone I’ve ever met. Proof of Tounk’s charm lies in the fact that when I met him he had been locked up for twenty-two years and had been married and divorced on four separate occasions, all within the confines of a prison. I laughed out loud when Tounk shared this with me. I also advised him to hold out for the house the next time he got divorced! Tounk used to pick on my hat; It was, after-all, falling apart, but it fit me just right, and as a lover of hats I know how difficult it can be to find one that fits just right…especially in prison. Right before I was promoted to minimum custody, Tounk suggested that when I finally did get out I should take the hat with me. “Why would I do that?” I asked. Tounk said,”So you don’t forget. A lot of guys get out and they forget what this was like. You got to take sumthin’ wit you.” My friend Ed called the other night. He’s got about two years to go, but is doing great. He is now the teacher’s aide for the G.E.D. classes. Ed was one of the smartest guys that I ever met in prison. He loved to hole up in his cell and read the days away. Oddly enough, the other thing Ed loved was The Price is Right, which he was very good at and watched every day. Those were the few occasions where wed get to talk. I liked Ed. He was gentle, and in prison…no one is gentle. So when I got out I started writing Ed, and now he calls me every once in a while. The other night I talked to his mother for the first time. I called her to let her know that I had spoken with her son and that he sounded good. Family members get lost in the prison system too. I was in “the hole” for a week once, and completely cut off from my family. They had no idea what was going on with me. So prison families sometimes start to form kind of networks. It was nice to be on this side of things for a change, to be able to give someone else that security, to let someone else know, “Your son is a valuable human being to other people too.” Ed proudly told me that he is running a 10k out on the yard this coming Friday. Ed is not a natural runner, but he is determined. He told me that he has been training for this for months. I could hear the same mixture of nervousness, pride, and excitement that I get before races too. I told him I’d ring the cowbell for him this Friday at 10:00 a.m. I hung up the phone feeling sad for Ed, sad for all of the men still in there. And I thought of that old hat. Tounk had sagely told me once, “You got to take sumthin’ wit you,” so I don’t forget. And as I hung up the phone I quietly thought to myself, “I have, Tounk. I have.”
Posted on: Sat, 22 Nov 2014 18:31:27 +0000
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