The depression #35 I cried myself to sleep when I woke up I felt sad and then I remembered why! It was the most painful moment of my life. I was confused,It didnt feel real I couldnt be hiv positive,anything just not that. My father came to see me and beside from my illness he could see something was bothering me He asked me wat was wrong and I said nothing. Papa:dont worry babe I also hate hospitals,they bring me sad memories and remind me of ua mom all the time.I cried in his arms and I told him I wanted to go home. Papa:once u get better they will discharge u baby plz b strong atleast for me if not for ua self. I desperately needed sumone to talk to,my father was like a friend,a mother and a father to me. But this wasnt sumthing I could talk to him about. I couldnt face the disappointment in his eyes,so I kept it to myself. After my father left my phone rang it was Mac I didnt know what I was gonna say to him. Confront him? What if I was the one who infected him,I mean this was confusing,I wasnt sleeping around,what could have possibly happened. I let it ring and then he stopped calling. I was discharged on Monday,and I spent the whole day in bed ignoring my phone,crying my eyes out. I spent the entire at home in bed feeling depressed until I told myself,hiv is not the end of the world.its time I took my ass out of bed and be with other people. I decided to go to zone to aunt s place. My sisters(my aunt s daughters) were chilling at kasi joint with their friends. We sat there laughed,gosipped,discussed men and it took a lot on my mind. Mumsy and Itu dancing for a song they were playing over the phone.Maria and kopano eating bunning chow,Ningy and Mary laughing at a drunk guy passing by,me and Lethabo discussing our luv lives.I was with my girls,and it took a lot on my mind I sat there looking at them.thinking to myself what if this time next year I wnt be around!
Posted on: Tue, 09 Sep 2014 07:46:48 +0000
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