The saga that is my front lawn renews into a new chapter. Let us see how the city responds, are they allies or villains? The suspense! -- Hello Mathew, I’m trying to get a hold of you to figure out what I can do with my yard. If you recall I actually installed a sprinkler system last time we went through this rigmarole. I spent a grand and a weekend renting all the equipment to dig trenches and laid a whole system down, and soon a lawn was born. However there was an increase in city water pressure about six months ago (per the plumber I called, that isn’t me being snarky about the city) which caused my pipes to burst. Which was an additional grand to get fixed, however they then noted that to prevent future pipe bursts I needed to have a regulator installed to reduce my water pressure (an additional $600) which I did, however with my new reduced water pressure my sprinkler system no longer had enough pressure to function…. So I now have beneath that lawn an expensive and useless sprinkler system. I actually have someone staying there now (I don’t live there) and I instructed them to stop using the hose on the lawn because my radio spends all day advising me to stop watering the lawn and washing my car due to the severe drought, and that fines are being handed out for people watering their lawns at certain hours or just using too much water in general. However my radio station (KPCC) is based in LA, and I should have realized that despite Riverside being a desert and having an even more severe water shortage we would of course do things backwards and hand out fines to those who conserve water rather than those who keep fancy green front lawns that no one ever uses and are completely without purpose. That being said. I do not want a front lawn. I never did. I want nothing to do with it. I don’t use it. Even when I lived there my kids played in the backyard, never in the front. It is completely without purpose and I don’t want to maintain it or hire gardeners to maintain it like those complaining neighbors have because that is a stupid waste of funds I don’t have, much like my beautiful non-functioning sprinkler system. What options do I have besides a grass lawn? How do I get you to leave me alone forever? Am I allowed to build a big fence around the front yard? Would that allow the world (by world I mean neighbors and city who are the only ones who currently harass me with this lawn silliness) to leave me alone? Or is there some sort of code that doesn’t allow that? Can I fill the whole thing up with rocks instead of grass? I could throw in a few rose bushes here and there and make some sort of rose and rock garden. That might actually be fun for me to create. Or does that violate something too? Can I just throw a bunch of cacti in the front? I want you guys to leave me alone forever. Help me help you leave me alone by letting me know what I can do (other than a green grass lawn which is common, ugly, and offensive to common sense and decency during a drought that isn’t ending in the next decade) that doesn’t take a bunch of maintenance and water but will allow me to live a life free of harassment as it doesn’t violate any of these “codes”. But please contact me soon. I’m gone this weekend, and I only have two Saturdays free after that before I’m out of the country again, so whatever I do I’d like to get started ASAP. I like the idea of a rose garden (on rocks rather than grass) best, but don’t want to get started on it unless it will serve to get you guys to leave me alone. Please contact me at your earliest convenience. 909-938-8546. Don’t worry, I’m not some angry crazy person who wants to yell at you for doing your job, I am simply someone trying to figure out how to best get you (the city, not you personally) to leave me alone so that we can all go on happily with our lives. I’ll be perfectly polite about it.
Posted on: Thu, 17 Jul 2014 16:10:44 +0000
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