There is a verse in the Bible that says, Do not exasperate your child so that they will not lose heart. There are a few translations like, Do not embitter, Do not provoke them to anger, Do not make them resentful, and so forth. The translation of the effects are that they may be, discouraged, disheartened, or sullen & morose. Im not a know-it-all parent, but I want to point out some practices & philosophies that may be helpful to consider, as a parent. I feel like these things have been a contribution in my sons life- not to be diminished by what I havent been able to do as a parent: 1) Create a consistent & peaceful home environment where they are & feel stable and secure. This may mean you have to get some people out of their environment, lose some friends or scale down the partying, change yourself and your behaviors, or change your whole lifestyle! Eliminate the CHAOS and anyone who causes it. If not for yourself, for them. A child needs peace & stability to get their bearings in life, Imo. 2) Acknowledge them. Listen and look them in the eyes when they are speaking. Be in THAT moment. They will not say everything right & accurate, but allow them to formulate opinions and express them without being critical so that they continue to work out their world-views and philosophies. Ask questions to show you are interested. I know how it feels when someone I love is talking to me and shows interest by asking questions, I feel important. Talk up to them, not down to them. Be very careful how your frame them/their life with WORDS or attitudes about them. Theyre listening. Theyre formulating their opinions of themselves & their lives by what their parents say about them! 3) Support their interests & even their whims, 100%, like you believe they are going to be the best at it that anyone ever was. (Even when your mind cannot conceive or relate to that interest- go into it like their #1 fan.) They dont have to excel at it or even stay interested- what is MOST important is that they know their parent believes in them & is supporting them. Regardless if their passion lasts, the notion that their parent is on their team is priceless. 4) Teach them how to blow some things off!! If you overreact or react to everything that is said and done to them because it hurts or angers YOU- just know youre teaching them that behavior. Everything is NOT important enough to react to. I think teaching them to blow stuff off helps to keep them from internalize every thing that is said or done. Every word or action is not fatal... So why make it that way? Id rather teach him that there will be plenty of that along in life and it is what it is- let it go, set it free, clinch things that bear good fruit! That is just a short list of things I think are important.
Posted on: Sat, 12 Apr 2014 18:43:19 +0000
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