There is only one thing that can be worse than being denied entry to your digs coz the watchie was changed while you were away. Change of personnel at the locals. Drama. As it is I once upon a time knew all the local beer hawkers names in the ka local den...no....dens. I therefore sauntered into one Bustani pub with those to airs that Summer bunnies normally have. First stop, Soja. Me: Ero, iko namna gani? Maasai: Iko sawa, weka gari pale (pointing at a far away distance) hapa iko gari nakuja. I look at him in disbelief, this is MY LOCAL!! Here we are invisible. All tulevis know what I mean. On closer scrutiny, I realise, ni mgeni, hes new! Déjà vu. I walk and leave the moti, he follows. I say hi to the pub owner (more heartily than normal), he retreats. Strike, 1-1 Inside was a whole different story, not 1 familiar hawker, ah, the barman is known to yours truly. James: weh, Juli, kwani bill ulikua unanipokonya? Nini hii sasa?!! Me: mtu wangu nilikua nimesafiri, siezi kunyanganya... James: Eh huko Mpesa haijavumbuliwa? Leta pesa. I pay. Strike back 1-1. DJ simjui, I dont bother. I seat and a waitress kujas. Im 100% sure she doesnt know nor trust this nigga, the look, weh weh. Her: Sema. Me: Guinness baridi kama maiti. Her: Leta pesa. Me: Nitakupa haina noma Her: Nauza cash! And she walked off! Mwathani! Things are cobra now and Im drifting towards ninja mode, quickly. I summon another one,same treatment. This is conspiracy. The third one took pity on this tormented soul and served me na bill. I enjoyed my tipple, I always do, until waiter#1 approached. Si useme nipewe moja, I choked on my drink! The nerve, kae uyu ena ngoma? Dear proprietors of the local tonya ùùre, warn us beforehand. We stakeholders need advance warnings. On my way out, Ero: Mkubwa, nunua chai, si iko patia wewe parking mizuri? Me: Kesho, lazima upate. I lied, hata na dawa siezi toa! Hii kusafirisafiri itaniua.
Posted on: Sat, 08 Nov 2014 22:01:55 +0000
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