These words from a friend of mine Jack Larwa, deserve a thoughtful read. It is about caring responses to suicides. I agree with every letter of this post. Robin Williams made a choice the other day. An awful choice, a painful choice, a devastating choice. In an effort to comfort ourselves numerous people have posted a familiar scene from a beloved Disney movie with the words, Genie, youre free. Anytime we lose someone we want comfort, answers, and peace in the face of our loss. We search for them wherever we can get them. Rest assured that answers are available from every direction. As a father, pastor, and friend it is my hope that we will only receive those answers that are healthy. Unfortunately this is not always the case. Im certain that the author of the tweet never intended to validate Williams choice, but the truth is the phrase youre free makes it sound as though it was a good choice. Genie, youre free makes it sound as though Robin Williams chose a valid option in dealing with his pain. He did not. If you are reading this today and are considering or have ever considered choosing suicide as an option for dealing with your pain, please dont. Suicide is a permanent, irrevocable solution to a temporary problem. What may seem to be a way out is only a way to cause more pain and emptiness than you can possibly imagine. Its as easy as this. If you are in a place where you are contemplating this decision, tell someone. There are people who care and people who can help even though you might be tempted to believe otherwise. Whoever you may be, this world will be a lesser place without you in it. We are not all that we can be without you here. We need you with us. I believe God made you for a reason and you have something to share with the rest of us. For those of us who are in a position to offer comfort in the aftermath of a tragedy like this we are faced with the overwhelming task of helping others to make sense of a senseless act. Recently a colleague (Gary Black) shared the following thoughts regarding our response to a persons suicide. Im going to close this post with his thoughts: Don’t say: This happened for a reason. No, there’s never a good reason for snuffing out ones own life. God needed him/her more than we did. No, I can assure you that God wanted him/her to stay here, with us, being loved and giving love. Thats everyones job description. I know how you feel. Friend, unless youve lost a loved one to suicide, theres no way you can know how it feels. Its hell. You havent been there. Dont say, “It was just his/her time.” I don’t believe that anyones life is ever supposed to end by suicide. I don’t believe, It was their time. We may mean well when we say such things, but the reality is that they do very little, if anything to help or to heal the hurt. Lets consider some things we can and should say: Im really, really sorry. You never go wrong saying those words. You dont need to elaborate. Just share their grief. I cant even imagine how hard it must be. Perhaps this is the most honest thing you can say. Could I give you a hug? When words are inadequate, hugs are powerful. We all need to learn the value of a compassionate embrace. “I promise…I’ll be praying for you. Now... keep your promise. Theres nothing you did to cause this tragedy. Surviving family members need to hear this. Suicide was a path the deceased chose. It wasnt a family members choice. No one else is responsible for it. No one. We shouldn’t judge one who has taken his/her life. It’s not our prerogative to make ecclesiastical pronouncements about anyone’s destiny. There is only one, eternal and righteous Judge…and it’s not you or I. This is a cut/paste post, as I could not share the original one directly, for some reason. Bless us all, Your real friend, Kevin Brown
Posted on: Thu, 14 Aug 2014 20:58:59 +0000
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