Thirty days for Lupe!!! The reason a lot of men leave there homes, family or jobs is for the very fact that they no longer feel like a man. They find themselves in a role of someone else rather that being the King that GOD has destin them to be. I had that similar experience last week and resorted to the natural solution rather than the SPIRITUAL one. You all would never understand and know that I am not writhing this to justify my actions because you thoughts dont mean that much to me. I am pending the end of my tail, see me however you like but I know how GOD feels towards me. HE was the one who called me and only HIM can uncall me. Every week I go visit my Mother she express her displeasure of being in the Home and most sessions ends in us crying. It was a family dission that brought that about and in every democratic ellection majority rules. I was the only one who didnt think that my mother shouldnt be in the Home and that dissision was made unbenounce to me. I am the only one who cannot take her out of the Home for any reason not even to go to a Resturant to share a meal or to walk through the medows to pick a rose. I have no control of what anyone does but myself so I chose to stay in Belize by my Mother side. St. Johns Credit Union, Mr. Martinez and Mr. Guadalupe Escalante owes me money that should have gone towards my Mothers care. I tried every witch way to peaceable resolve the situation but failed and I interpreted it as spite. Not being able to buy the simple pleasures my Mother wanted to make her stay in the Home a little more comfortable ran its toll on me. Mr. Martinez is my Cousin, S J C U is an institution that I couldnt hurt but Mr. Guadalupe Escalante who wanted to knock me out I can. He has no idea what the Streets of New York, Los Angeles and Chicago has done to me. I decided to give him thirty days to reconsider his position after all I just wanted to take care of my Mother. I needed to regerjetate all the ills of my past to make me angry enough to cary out my plan of disguss towards him but still having the hope that he would repent. When his sister Linda insulted me here knowing that he was wrong escalated my anger to the perfect point. As I was about to write my last warning changing the timeline to Friday at 3:30 instead of the promised thirty days I came accross Imanis pleas. I gave her a call and she sommoned me to her Office like Mr. Price would then proceed to scold me as only a small handfull of people have that privilage. I humbled myself and now choose to let go of everything. See I had close down Church and all for on Friday at 3:30 one of us was not going to be standing. When I get through I was not going to go to jail for thats one place I only visit because GOD says so. I cant live on the run so like in California back in the day I would go out in a gun fight with the cops. Commiting suicide would garantee me hell and no one deserves to go there but if the cops take me out which they would have to was my best chance of Heaven. No one knows how much I love my Mother and I couldnt go on see here day after day and cant do anything. My human nest got the best of me and you all are right, I am a weak Pastor but thats because you dont know how amazing my Mother is. JESUS CHRIST layed down HIS life for us sinners and a lot of people dont appreciate it, I was going to lay mine down for Her because I not only apprecite her, love her but maybe someone would take note and try to help her. I am not a weak person but I can admitt that I struggle with hopelessness. GOD is helping me so I will forgive and trust HIM to work everything out. You could believe whatever you want about me, I dont really care, see I know HOW JESUS CHRIST fells about me and thats all that matter to me. Goodbye Facebook, Thank you Imani, thank you Mr. Price, thank you Mother and thank you JESUS!!!
Posted on: Tue, 04 Mar 2014 17:11:28 +0000
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