This Sunday I will run my 3rd half marathon. I am concerned as I have not been running as much as I should have been & I am heavier than I was at my previous half marathons. I have been down lately on myself & have felt like giving up many times. I have even considered not doing this race although I already paid for it. I ran this same half marathon last year with 2 of my best friends. I would not have completed it without them last year..and I would have given up running altogether by now if it wasnt for them. They have grown to be faster than me these days, and it will be hard for me to do this without them by my side, but I have decided that this time, it isnt about how fast or slow I am. I am not doing this race for bragging rights. I have something to prove to myself..that I am not 300 pound Krista, and that although I may be a little heavier this time around, I can still run. I do not have to stop doing what I love because I am not as fit as I was before, and that I CAN be that fit again. I want to truly believe in my heart that I do not have to go back to the life I was living 2 years ago just because I have put on 20 pounds. I am tired of not being good enough for myself. I will never overcome this if I dont snap out of this fog of unworthiness I am in. To Sarah and Krista: I want you both to know that I love you and am so proud of the progress you have both made in the past year. Thank you for both for not allowing me to give up on myself. You both inspire me and give me hope for where I can be one day. Ill be thinking of you both as I feel like Im dying pounding the pavement lol To all of my other friends running this weekend: Good luck! No matter how long it takes, remember you will be stronger for doing it. You will also be sore lol. Lets do this!
Posted on: Wed, 29 Oct 2014 17:12:23 +0000
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