This next post may be a bit heavy to read… I typically have kept these type of posts off of FB but I promised i would share the real story of fighting cancer… and think perhaps this post would help others realize the value of life and also why you should treasure every moment in your own. Before I share this story.. i wanted to say this.. I know you are all very busy with your lives, rushing to and from work, rushing to see your kids and friends and family but take the time out to enjoy every second. Dont be angry… or hold grudges.. enjoy your freedom of not being hospitalized, do things for yourself because you CAN… surround yourself with positive energy. Take that vacation. Tell your loved ones you love them. Life can be too short… and you never want to have any regrets. Being here has taught me a lot about life… and loss.. the emotional toll isnt just about what you feel but what you see. When you get here you establish a community. Im on a Leukemia floor, a critical unit. The nurses and doctors are amazing and become your family. Patients become your friends. We walk together… fight together… share our stories of how we got Leukemia… talk about our families and our struggles. There are great stories of success…. But then there are days we see the name gone from the door.. the patient is gone… and you see the chaplain show up and you just know something bad happened. Nurses are good to move you back to your room if you are out walking and try to shield you from any sadness --- but we know… and it hits hard. Today a dear friend I made on the hall went home… hes still alive and his family isnt giving up and neither am I.. but he was taken via ambulance home for hospice to take over. Home to hold his newborn again and his 2 year old child. His mom tells me he was in a lot of pain and wasnt reacting to treatment and theres nothing else to do for him. I cried with her and my heart broke. She tried not to tell me.. she told me she didnt want to discourage me. How kind to even think of my feelings at this tough time. But my heart is in pieces for him and his family. I adore them. You cant make a case and say hes older and frail…. no… hes mid 30s… I dont know where things went wrong… We walked FAST together around these halls and the hospital….. both of us energized saying the faster we walked the sooner we could get home to our kids… we walked to get out and hold our children in our arms again. His beautiful mother never left his side.. since he was diagnosed she slept right there next to him. She was tired but said there is no way she leaving. She is a true angel.…. I would do the same for Gabriel. Any parent would. These stories affect me… I hurt. We are a community.. We understand the pain we see each other through and then the wheels of what ifs turns. Sometimes Cesar tells me just it might be better if i knew less and didnt make friends so I wouldnt worry so much about what can happen. We all have different types of leukemia… different mutations… It just isnt right though. You want everyone to do well. I share this with the hopes you can pray for his family and every family fighting cancer and any other life threatening illness. I also share this with the hopes you take the time out to enjoy life. It is precious.
Posted on: Thu, 05 Jun 2014 18:28:24 +0000
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