This weekend I went on a Retreat to get some life issues in order. When I was in high school Id sign up for retreats and at the last minute Id go to the bus and tell them I couldnt go after all. My parents thought I was at the retreat for the weekend but I was out and about with my knucklehead friends doing what knucklehead kids do who lie to their parents. A friend , who invited me said not to worry about the costs, he was inviting me and would take care of everything, and thought itd be a great retreat for me, that hed been going for 20 plus years! When I checked in I had a balance of $105 and my friend was no where to be found- so I paid. Not a good start. Then I realized it was at a Catholic monastery. Again, I should have checked. Finally I decided to give it my all and leave my knucklehead way of thinking at the door and give it an honest effort. I did. Heres what I learned, there are good people in the world and angry people in the world, which do I want to be? At the introductions the first day I mentioned to the group that Id come up to the retreat at my friends suggestion and would give the retreat an honest go but was uncomfortable with the venue location. That did not go over well with one member so he took the time to ask me at dinner. Why are mad? I said I wasnt mad I just felt uncomfortable is all. He said, Why are you angry? again I said, Im here for the same reasons you are, to help find peace in my life. He said, Were here for fellowship. Fellowship brings you peace. That may be I said, but its only been a few hours so Ill try and keep an open mind. Then he said, Did you really think of calling your son to pick you up all the way up here in Sequoia? Thats a long drive dont you think? I gave his question some thought and said simply, I guess I have my concerns dont I? and walked away. The next day he found me reading J.D Salingers Nine Stories and asked me if I was reading the book to isolate myself or to feel that I was somehow smarter than everyone else. I told him how I just enjoyed a good book is all. Then he asked me again, Why are you so angry? Are you still angry? I said simply, I dont understand why you keep asking that question I only said the venue made me uncomfortable. But Im still here. Then he started to talk again and I just got up and walked away as he was in mid-sentence. Not sure I did the right thing but I just finished Nine Stories and I feel better. Thats all I got these days. Maybe its karma for not going to all those retreats my parents thought would do me good or maybe its God way of telling me Im an angry man or maybe I need to read more books or maybe I just need to get on with life and accept myself for who I am. Things could be worse or things could be better but I am blessed to be alive and thats more than enough for me today. The Angels are in the playoffs and the Dodgers are giving their fans more reason to remember the glory days of yesteryear. Football is in the air. My children are all healthy and going well. The wallet is light, my health is in question, my dome still has a cap tan line from hell but the Sun is still shining. Got a few weeks before medical devices invade my body, and thats okay. Am I an angry man? For the life of me I cant see why I would be. Im at peace with myself today. What could be better?
Posted on: Mon, 22 Sep 2014 20:30:15 +0000
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