This year my local community had the chance to undertake a large burning man project, to work together, to build something and unify people. For most people it was a chance to participate and celebrate. I have and will continue to support, share, and encourage people to join these types of projects because they build community, bring not only challenge but triumph. However, for myself it was a very different experience. I was kicked out of the group via email just over a year ago, there were not rules laid out to be broken, no attempt at conversation. Despite my best efforts communicate and try to understand why this had happened there was no path to reconciliation attempted or offered to reunite with the group. My partner however was encouraged to join the project without me, which for her was as hurtful as my exile. This was a group we had both been part of for 2 years, to which we had both volunteered so much effort and time and considered them family. This event dramatically shaped our year; feelings of being isolated and bullied to be quiet has had a negative physiological and social impact. Expressing that we felt left out and hurt generated a mix of responses. To those people that we did share with, who could simply listen and be supportive you have really made a difference. One of the most hurtful apart from the exile was the stories propagated to justify this action. People had second and third hand opinions, events and situations that never happened or now sound like the result of a game of broken telephone. I would hear them repeated by different people verbatim, as if fact, yet very few actually would ask us what happened before dropping their gavel. The hardest part for me has been watching how Jess was treated by people who continue to claim they loved and cared about her but would never speak or listen to her. Humans seem to do better seeing and identifying things once they have a word to which they can attach an idea and meaning to. I am not here to tell anyone what to do, but introduce a term that may allow people to see this, and this is the main reason why I am sharing this experience; people will do what they believe based on their own experience. My own belief is no one should be treated like this, or feel this way. We only wanted was to part of the project, to participate with those we considered family and share the stories with old and new friends. My experience was very similar to mobbing. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mobbing#In_the_workplace. To those people who I once considered good friends who now ignore me and my partner, simply for pointing out how we felt left out, have us blocked on this medium, and though manage to shallow hellos around certain people. Now that is built and burned what next? You built a heart, the muscle that sees what is invisible to the eye, do you want to continue with this situation not only affecting us and yourselves but affecting those around us or live in the image of what you created and promoted, love and community. In the words of another; Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. I enjoy dialogue to search for understanding and believe it is a chance to learn something and better not just ourselves but those around us. To those people, you know who you are; I leave an open invitation to dialogue to create change.
Posted on: Fri, 19 Sep 2014 01:34:08 +0000