#TipTuesday 7 Tips for Disciplining Your Toddler 1. Pick Your Battles If youre always saying, No, no, no, your child will tune out the no and wont understand your priorities, says Pearson, author of The Discipline Miracle (AMACOM). Plus you cant possibly follow through on all of the nos. Define whats important to you, set limits accordingly, and follow through with appropriate consequences. Then ease up on little things that are annoying but otherwise fall into the who cares? category -- the habits your child is likely to outgrow, such as insisting on wearing purple (and only purple). 2. Know Your Childs Triggers Some misbehavior is preventable -- as long as you can anticipate what will spark it and you create a game plan in advance, such as removing tangible temptations. This strategy worked for Jean Nelson, of Pasadena, California, after her 2-year-old son took delight in dragging toilet paper down the hall, giggling as the roll unfurled behind him. The first two times Luke did it, I told him, No, but when he did it a third time, I moved the toilet paper to a high shelf in the bathroom that he couldnt reach, Nelson says. For a toddler, pulling toilet paper is irresistible fun. It was easier to take it out of his way than to fight about it. If your 18-month-old is prone to grabbing cans off grocery store shelves, bring along some toys for him to play with in the cart while youre shopping. If your 2-year-old wont share her stuffed animals during playdates at home, remove them from the designated play area before her pal arrives. And if your 3-year-old likes to draw on the walls, stash the crayons in an out-of-reach drawer and dont let him color without supervision. Also, some children act out when theyre hungry, overtired, or frustrated from being cooped up inside, says Harvey Karp, MD, creator of the DVD and book The Happiest Toddler on the Block (Bantam). Make sure your child eats healthy snacks, gets enough sleep (a minimum of 10 hours at night, plus a one- to two-hour nap), and plays outside to burn off energy -- even in chilly weather. 3. Be Consistent Between the ages of 2 and 3, children are working hard to understand how their behavior impacts the people around them, says Claire Lerner, LCSW, director of parenting resources with Zero to Three, a nationwide nonprofit promoting the healthy development of babies and toddlers. If your reaction to a situation keeps changing -- one day you let your son throw a ball in the house and the next you dont -- youll confuse him with mixed signals. 4. Dont Get Emotional Sure, its hard to stay calm when your 18-month-old yanks the dogs tail or your 3-year-old refuses to brush his teeth for the gazillionth night in a row. But if you scream in anger, the message youre trying to send will get lost and the situation will escalate -- fast. When a child is flooded with a parents negative mood, hell see the emotion and wont hear what youre saying, explains William Coleman, MD, professor of pediatrics at the University of North Carolina Medical School, in Chapel Hill. Indeed, an angry reaction will only enhance the entertainment value for your child, so resist the urge to raise your voice. Take a deep breath, count to three, and get down to your childs eye level. Be fast and firm, serious and stern when you deliver the reprimand. 5. Keep It Short and Simple If youre like most first-time mothers, you tend to reason with your child when she breaks rules, offering detailed explanations about what she did wrong and issuing detailed threats about the privileges shell lose if she doesnt stop misbehaving. But as a discipline strategy, overtalking is as ineffective as becoming overly emotional, warns Dr. Coleman. While an 18-month-old lacks the cognitive ability to understand complex sentences, a 2- or 3-year-old with more developed language skills still lacks the attention span to absorb what youre saying. Instead, speak in short phrases, repeating them a few times and incorporating vocal inflections and facial expressions, Dr. Coleman advises. For example, if your 18-month-old swats your arm, say, No, Jake! Dont hit Mommy! That hurts! No hitting. No hitting. A 2-year-old can comprehend a bit more: Evan, no jumping on the sofa! No jumping. Jumping is dangerous -- you could fall. No jumping! And a 3-year-old can process cause and effect, so state the consequences of the behavior: Ashley, your teeth need to be brushed. You can brush them -- or I can brush them for you. You decide. The longer it takes, the less time well have to read Dr. Seuss. 6. Give a Time-Out If repeated reprimands, redirection, and loss of privileges havent cured your child of his offending behavior, consider putting him in time-out for a minute per year of age. This is an excellent discipline tool for kids who are doing the big-time no-nos, Dr. Karp explains. Before imposing a time-out, put a serious look on your face and give a warning in a stern tone of voice (Im counting to three, and if you dont stop, youre going to time-out. One, two, THREE!). If she doesnt listen, take her to the quiet and safe spot youve designated for time-outs, and set a timer. When it goes off, ask her to apologize and give her a big hug to convey that youre not angry. Nathaniel hated going to time-out for hitting his sister with the plastic sword, but I was clear about the consequences and stuck with it, says Angela Lampros. After a few weeks, he learned his lesson. Indeed, toddlers dont like to be separated from their parents and toys, so eventually the mere threat of a time-out should be enough to stop them in their tracks. 7. Stay Positive No matter how frustrated you feel about your childs misbehavior, dont vent about it in front of him. If people heard their boss at work say, I dont know what to do with my employees. They run the company, and I feel powerless to do anything about it, theyd lose respect for him and run the place even more, says Pearson. Its the same thing when children hear their parents speak about them in a hopeless or negative way. They wont have a good image of you as their boss, and theyll end up repeating the behavior. Source: parents/toddlers-preschoolers/discipline/tips/7-tips-for-disciplining-your-toddler/?page=1
Posted on: Tue, 28 Jan 2014 19:00:01 +0000
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