Two weeks into my marriage, my husband and I sat on a panel at Fisk University.The question was asked What was your dating experience like in college and how has it affected you post marriage. Completely at a loss for words, I didnt answer. Even though a panel discussion is supposed to be interactive, I found myself thinking critically for the answer. After a few days of digging deep into my dating behaviors of college past, I found truth. My experience of dating in college, even after college was all wrong. Not because of anything anyone did, but because of the selfish way I went about it. I realize I was searching for an idol who would idolize me. Maybe Im the only one, but I had no time for anyones short comings and how DARE you try and correct any of mine! Dont come for me unless I send for you, boo! How does that work in a marriage? It doesnt. If you love someone, you allow them to be Human and at the same time, youre intentional in being a part of their solution, not their problem. How many of us commit to all of that in a dating relationship? I didnt...until my Husband came along. No seriously, not until a month ago in front of about 100 people did I commit to that (*shrugs* just keeping it 100). The truth is, it doesnt get real until you say I do. I say all this to say, in your dating relationships, be careful in your 1. Dismissive dispositions (I dont have time for this) because Love is patient 2. Easily flustered moods (OMG! *huffs and puffs) because Love is slow to anger and 3. Lack of communication (Im fine) When your reality is not because Love doesnt not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. These are not good habits to develop as you will surely one day end up unhappily married. So, try to practice good habits on the front end. It wont eliminate your troubles, but at least youll have a better attitude about them. It was about a week after our wedding day when me and Nduka had our first argument as a married couple. I was all in my feelings not talking to him (you know, flexing bad habits I had created over the course of my dating career) when I hear Speechless by MJ. Our wedding song. My husband asks me to dance right there in the living room. I had a choice to make. I could either stubbornly dismiss him or take his hand realizing that moment as an opportunity to create new habits. We danced...and then we talked. Love, will endure. Happy 1 month anniversary love❤️
Posted on: Wed, 12 Nov 2014 18:19:58 +0000
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