UPDATE: We found out today that the leukemia blasts in my blood are doing something quite odd. They were on a rise, percentage-wise, for some time, and then suddenly plummeted to a very low 16%. The closest I could pry out of the doc as far as a reason goes is that the dose of chemo injected into my spinal fluid for my last spinal tap got into my blood stream somehow and tore down the leukemia blasts like a tornado in a trailer park. You should see the graph the doc arranged for us - its almost hilarious how fast and how far the percentages fall. Still, Im the skeptic, but I was told generally to just be grateful for this unexpected and fortuitous turn of events and wait patiently while we monitor the progression and see what happens next. Another strange and fortuitous numeric blessing came today in the form of my platelet numbers. Platelets are blood cells that, for a while, I needed infusions of two to three times a week. I wasnt generating my own, and couldnt hold on to platelets infused for very long. Now, not only are my platelet numbers high and stable (for a neutropenic cancer patient), but they are ON THE RISE. Thats right. In my blood, the cancer is ebbing and the good cells are coming in apparent droves. This, overall, makes me very grateful and very suspicious. This is, after all, a huge step forward. What backward steps are to follow? Certainly that would follow the pattern this disease seems to take with me. But, as I was told, be watchful, be grateful. So for now, Ill watch and thank God for this very welcome reprieve. My doctors are amazed. This is all very good news guys, and heres what happens next. If things proceed according to plan, the next step is brain surgery. Yup. A hole in my skull, a miniscule tube, and a self-sealing port sealed under the skin of my scalp to complete the set. This will be used to inject chemo into the source of my spinal fluid - and that source, if you recall, is buried deep within the brain. So this thing will not be coming out for cosmetic purposes. Its permanent unless medical risk deems otherwise. Like infection. Were worried about infection. This procedure is going to take about a week to get set up for, paperwork and all that, and then I go in for a jolt of platelets (Im a little over halfway to where the surgeons want me to be for the procedure) and then its straight into general anesthesia. Insert port. Brain surgery. Scary, scary, serious stuff. I confess I feel intimidated by the whole idea. I asked what the difference was between conscious sedation, which Ive had, and general anesthesia. I was told in the former you breathe on your own and in the latter a machine breathes for you. Its an operation that this particular surgeon performs quite frequently with excellent results. Ive met him, through a neuro oncologist, and I like them both immensely. This puts me somewhat at ease. But come on. Brain. Surgery. Yikes. After that, depending on my counts, I could be slated for outpatient chemo - the same chemo that is apparently bringing my cancer blast numbers down so heavily - to further wipe everything out. And then, my friends, we are back on a direct path to transplant. I wont say Im not scared of any of it. This stuff just keeps getting bigger and bigger. But I know my strengths, and I know my weaknesses, and I know that with the enormous amount of support that I have, I can get through this. So thank you, very much, for all your well wishes and prayers. Because of all our voices together, perhaps we can claim some pride in this good news. Perhaps not. Regardless of how you see it, know that you all have brought me some peace, some sense of community, and, most importantly, a sense of humility. I have never in my life been so grateful to so many people and I pray that all of you are as blessed as I feel. This might be a terrible, ravaging, fast-acting disease, a curse, a tragedy. But because of you, because of my closest support group, because of family and friends near and far, I cant see it that way. This disease has been a golden opportunity. An expensive, trying, aching opportunity. And it isnt just the positive outpouring of love and encouragement and gifts. Its the connections reformed and maintained that have been such a blessing. This has never been and never shall be about cancer. Despite its role as a catalyst, despite it being an incredible crucible to endure, it is not the main focus. Life, positive relationships, familial and platonic connections, and love and the sheer joy of life will always be center stage here. So thank you, all of you, no matter the squalls that come after this. Thank you for enduring all this to this bright, shining victory we had the privilege of having today. Celebrate, a little, because the horizon sky is still dark with clouds, were not out of this yet. But right now, the suns out, the winds are fair, and the water is calm. Lets be grateful and wait to see what comes our way next. Thank you all for staying with me thus far. Please continue to support me in any way you think is best - prayer, positive thoughts, visits - because this isnt over yet.
Posted on: Tue, 28 Jan 2014 11:23:01 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015