USAfrica and CLASSmagazine (Houston) have received a popular e-mail on the humorous but actual church/mission/evangelism ministry names in Nigeria. usafricaonline/2010/09/14/wacky-names-nigerian-churches/ The key roll call of names: · Guided Missiles Church ( The founder must have worked with NATO in the United States, or something close!) · JESUS IN THE NOW GLOBAL MINISTRY’ ( As opposed to where he was in the – THEN – ministry?) Healing Has Begun Ministry ( This should bring multitudes …..in the beginning) · God’s Own Ministry ( I guess here the ownership is not in doubt!) · The True Assemblies of God Church (don’t want to think of what this implies of the other Assemblies of God we know) · Jehova Sharp Sharp (Festac) (Are we looking at a sense of timing here or the surname is being emphasized) · Huricane Miracle Ministry (In nigeria……?) · Healing Tsunami Ministry (I guess , both should be situated side by side , my guess is twin brothers founded them!) · Satan in Trouble Ministry (You guys are helping him out , or wanna join in the fun?) · Fire for Fire Ministry (Founded by a descendant of Moses …actually started with the name ‘An eye for an eye’ ministry) · FIST OF FURY (NTA road, Port Harcourt) (I’ll take a guess, members are fit, and all have black belts in Karate) · Run For Your Life Ministry ( You can’t say , you haven’t been warned!) Here’s the sign for Run for your life chapel · The Yoke Must Broke Ministry (Spelling error or founded in warri?) · Jesus Heal Ministry ( Focussed and to the point…! ) · Face to face ministry ( No emails, mobile phones allowed- everything here in done face to face!) · Angels on Fire Chapel of Peace (An oxymoron….meaning?) · Liquid Fire Ministries (Suleja, Niger State) (Nitrogen, diesel, Kerosene and gasoline in sure supply!) · By fire By Fire Ministry (These guys are not kidding!!!!) · HOLYFIRE OVERFLOW MINISTRIES (Doesn’t this remind you of run for your life ….?) · David Killed Goliath Ministry (Kaduna) (Size and weight counts here….!) · House of Jehova’s Padawans (TransAmadi, PH) (Check this out, IT WASNT THERE!- what the heck is padawans?!!!) · JESUS IN HIS MIGHTINESS GLOBAL MINISTRY (As opposed to other ministries where HE IS IN his what?…LOWLINESS?) · OPM – Other people’s money (PH) ( Now I like this one….our mission is clear!!!!) · God in action ministries (Isn’t there a movie with that title?) · Moving mountain gospel church ( You can’t say this guys are not scriptural….) · MY BROTHER IS A CHRISTIAN CHURCH OF GOD (Muslims/Jews/Hindus don’t belong here is another way of saying this!!!) · Fellowship of the Wings – Ajah (Langbasa) (This is a church….right?) · Power Foundation Ministries, Aba. === The pastor’s maiden crusade was titled: “Your Money is Looking For You” (I actually like the crusade title for the name of the church!) ( · HOLY GHOST ON FIRE MINISTRY (Abuja) (Are these ones for or against God?) · HIGH TENSION MINISTRY (There is absolutely nothing wrong with this if the church location describes the church name!!!!) · JESUS NEVER bleep UP MINISTRY (Benin) === for those of you who don’t get the meaning, replace the word bleep in this one with the err… the “F” word ( sounds like a warning) · Devil go hear am Jesus Ministry (I know this one MUST be BASED in warri) · Accredited Church of God (Jega’s INEC should see and agree with this or not!) · Chukwudi & Son evangelical ministry, Aba (The first sermon should read -Many are called, few were chosen) · Power pass power church of the mountain ministry incorporated (I ‘ll suggest a more modern name, like P3M2 to the I in C, ministries. ) · Ministry Of The Naked Wire – Bayelsa State (Be warned! , naked cables are everywhere!) · LABORATORY CHURCH OF GOD ( We only need to check your blood samples and tell if you are one of us!!!) · Go and tell Ahab that Elijah is here ministries – Benin (IF you have no Ahab friends and ain’t seen Elijah before, sorry pal, you are not one of us!) · God is Real Ministry. Motto: “Jesus no get muscle but he get power” (Another warri based ministry with a clear mandate! – muscle building not allowed) · Fire burn ministries (Another clear warning!) · JESUS THE LANDLORD, WE THE RELAXING PEW MINISTRY – Portharcourt (Owned by an Ikwerre man!, after all, land is mentioned and it is in PH) · Happy Go Lucky Church of God Almighty In Jesus Name Amen – Abeokuta (What can I say to this …but, Amen too!!!) · Old time religion ministry (Yes my brothers and sisters, its old time again, join us when you are 50 years and above!) · Strong Hand of God ministry (Yes! Thats what we are!, if you are weak hand of God, we are STRONG) · Best Spot In The Land of God Church – Apapa. (I am still thinking of what to write here….) · Trigger happy ministry. Motto- always firing the devil ( Second motto should read ,: come equipped , AK47 minimum standards) · KASABUBU CHURCH OF GOD – Ibadan ( I didn’t have to check this out!) · Jesus knows his children ministry – Benin (Yes! …We are the one!) · SEVEN THUNDERS OF JESUS (namely…?) · Perfect Christianity Ministry (No short cuts here!) · Elshaddai Shall Not Die Ministries ( I give up!!!) Elshaddai shall not die ministries …pls note Powered by…lolz
Posted on: Wed, 12 Jun 2013 09:42:16 +0000
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