USE THESE METHODS FOR SUCCESSFUL PROBLEM SOLVING: Agree to partner and work as a team on the solution: Make a commitment to each other to be on the same team rather than opposing each other. When you work together and play by the same rules, you have a real chance of finding new and better solutions to your problems. Keep the problem the problem: One critical rule is that you state the problem in terms of how it impacts you. If you feel a particular way as a result of what the other person may be doing, the problem is that you feel a particular way. For example, say "(wife) I feel lonely when you (husband) are not home at night," instead of saying, "You are never home and that makes me think you don’t love me." There is no room in effective problem solving for blame, name-calling, bad history lessons or other negative behaviors that are typical of arguments. Problem solving is not an argument. Work on one problem at a time. It’s important that you both agree to focus on one problem at a time. It becomes confusing when multiple issues are raised. Pick one issue and stick to it even if you have to remind each other to stay on that one subject. Stay with the one problem until you’ve reached an understanding or solution. Understand the problem: Quite often, what first appears to be the problem is only a part of the problem. It may be a symptom of a different problem that is not immediately obvious. Reaching understanding of the problem requires that you communicate with a joint desire to understand what the problem is. It does not require that you agree on any solutions at this time. It is, in fact, important that you agree to defer your opinions, reactions, and proposed solutions while you’re seeking understanding. Save your judgment for later when you are evaluating problem statements, ideas or options that you have created together.
Posted on: Wed, 03 Jul 2013 08:12:55 +0000
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